


Multicolored Glitter Pens

by strawberrylemonade1225



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (I'm a meme machine), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, Low-key catfishing?, M/M, Pining Michael, Post-Squip, Slow Burn, Slowish anyway, and humor, anyway, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylemonade1225/pseuds/strawberrylemonade1225
Summary: Unfortunately, there isn't an article on WikiHow about how to admit to your best friend that you're technically catfishing them through a soulmate bond.Jeremy would know; he's been searching for one.





	1. Barbie Brand Pink

**Author's Note:**

> Me: stop naming your stories after random things that don't really contribute to-  
> Me @ me: yeet

Michael stared down at his arm, eyes scanning over the blank skin. He looked for a sign of anything, nervously chewing the end of his pen as he did so.

He glanced over to his clock and cursed under his breath when he noticed the time, look back down at his arm and pressing the tip of his pen to the palm of his hand and writing.

**_Hello! Good morning!_ **

He capped his pen and put it in his book bag before swinging the bag onto his back and twirling his keys on his finger.

He says goodbye to his mom before leaving the house and driving over to his best friend's house, pressing his hand against his horn and not lifting it up until Jeremy flips him off from his window upstairs and Michael bursts out laughing.

Michael feels a sudden pain shoot up his leg that has him cringing and gripping at his knee. He shuts his eyes tightly and sighs out, mentally asking the universe why it gave him a clumsy soulmate.

A few minutes later and Jeremy's jogging up to his car, putting his book bag into the back seat and sliding into the passenger seat.

“You should be glad my dad leaves for work earlier than we leave, asshole,” Jeremy says with no real malice behind his words as he buckles in. His face is red with tired eyes and his hair is messed up.

“Did you only just wake up when I pulled up?” Michael asks and Jeremy doesn't reply. “You totally did! How _irresponsible.”_

“You're at least three times more irresponsible than me,” Jeremy points out and Michael gasps dramatically as he pulls out of Jeremy’s driveway and starts in the direction of the school.

“Useless facts, Jer. We may only be in March of our Junior year, but I'm not always going to be there to wake you up in time,” Michael says, the conversation becoming a bit serious and Jeremy half heartedly shoves his arm.

“We established a rule, didn't we?” He raises his eyebrows at Michael who remains silent. “No talking about college until Senior year, at least.”

“Fine, fine,” Michael gives in, giving a quick glance over at Jeremy, seeing that his face is starting to return to its normal color and he's fiddling with the sleeves of his cardigan. “You alright, buddy?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine,” he brushes off, pulling the sleeves down a bit more.

“Did your soulmate write to you this morning?” Michael asks, deciding to change the topic. He didn't want to make Jeremy uncomfortable.

“Yeah. They always do.” Jeremy looks over at him. “Yours still hasn't responded?”

“Nope. Haven't heard from them since November.” Michael pulls into the school parking lot and parks his car, tapping his fingers against the wheel and looking over at Jeremy. “You should really write to yours. They might be thinking that you're dead or something.”

“I doubt that. They can feel my pain too, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, I'm clumsy as hell, so I'm pretty sure they felt me injure myself this morning.”

“You have a point,” Michael agreed, stepping out his car and locking his doors when Jeremy does the same. They walk into the school side by side, and a few people greet Jeremy while they're on the way to their lockers. “Still, though. My point stands.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's just… you know how I feel about this soulmate stuff,” Jeremy mutters, pulling at his sleeves again, seemingly trying to cover his hands.

“Yeah, I know.”

They go their separate ways at their lockers, walking to their classes. Michael watches Jeremy go and sighs softly before turning on his heel, putting his headphones on and pumping loud music into his ears to drown out the rest of the world around him.

***

Here's the thing:

Michael likes Jeremy.

He's liked Jeremy since eighth grade, and he doesn't see a point in the future where he'll ever stop liking Jeremy.

The probability of Jeremy actually being his soulmate? Close to zero percent. That would be too great of a coincidence.

Yes, they were close. Yes, Michael feels a warmth spreading through his quite empty chest whenever he is with Jeremy, and yes, he felt like someone had carved a piece of him out when the Squip had taken over Jeremy. All of those feelings are the same that people who have met their soulmate describe having, but Michael chalks it down to the fact that they have been friends for twelve years. Of course being separated from someone that close to him would leave him a complete wreck.

(Michael may also have some other issues. He doesn't know. He has a lot of issues that he deals with unhealthily.)

Michael saw some signs, some things that possibly told him that the chances of them being connected by fate was higher, but nothing was completely concrete. It had to be his mind playing games with him or something of that sort because there was no way.

But… then again… he had also felt a new sense of hope and purpose when they had become friends again. That didn't mean they were soulmates though, anyone would be happy to get back their best friend that they loved.

It had been pretty uneventful, but it had given Michael so much hope that he's convinced that he'll always remember it.

***

**_January 12th, Junior Year_ **

It was really too cold to be sitting outside in only boxers.

Michael was sitting on his front porch, waiting until his mom waved at him and pulled out of the driveway that night. He half considered going back inside, his legs going a bit red from cold, but he didn't find the motivation to do it.

His entire face felt heavy and he just leaned his head against the back of the chair, staring at the sky. He was so unfocused that he didn't even hear the sound of sneakers walking on the pathway up to his door.

It wasn't until the person cleared their throat that Michael noticed them, and when he did look down, he was kind of surprised to see Jeremy standing there, hands shoved in the pockets of his parka. It was a hideous color of yellow that Michael had given him on his birthday half as a joke and half as a plea for this boy to _please_ wear something other than cardigans only during the winter.

(Seemed to have worked when he stood in front of Michael that January.)

“Hey,” he casually greeted and Michael blew out a breath.

“‘Sup?” he slowly asked, adjusting his glasses even though they couldn't go any higher than where they were.

“I was just on my way to catch a movie with everyone,” Jeremy says, gesturing behind him with his thumb. “You didn't check the group chat?”

“I- there's a group chat?” Michael asks, glancing over at his phone. He picks it up and sure enough, Jeremy had sent him an invite to join a group chat.

“I… I sent you an invite for it,” he said and Michael nodded, putting his phone down again and biting the inside of his cheek. “There's still some time before the movie starts if you want to get ready and we can go together.”

“Nah. I think I'll stay home,” he brushes it off and a tense silence falls between them. It makes Michael's skin crawl, and it causes tears to prick at his eyes when he thinks about what caused their relationship to be like this. He can just blame weed for the redness of his eyes if Jeremy can even tell in the darkness.

“...What are you going to do here?” Jeremy asks, rocking back and forth on his feet. _Habit,_ Michael thinks. It's a habit for Jeremy to do that whenever he was nervous or uncomfortable. Michael didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

“Play video games. Get high. Listen to music.” He shrugged one shoulder, looking everywhere but at Jeremy, feeling his ugly anxiety clawing at his throat. Anyone would look at them and it would look like a casual conversation, although Michael is not dressed for the weather, but for Michael, the conversation is bittersweet, leaning more towards horribly bitter. “The usual.”

“You should come with me. We're… uh, we're going to see a horror. I know those are your favorite.”

Michael waved his hand and itched to go inside. “I… don't wanna intrude.”

“Is that why you're not going?” Jeremy asked, face suddenly more serious and he stops the rocking. Michael slowly nods and Jeremy shakes his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “You're a part of the group. You won't be intruding at all.”

“I dunno, I mean,” he starts. His tongue feels thick in his mouth and he stumbles over his words. “I, um, didn't go through the same shit as you guys, and, like, I'm just… really uncool, a loser, something like that and… I don't really belong, and-”

Michael's caving in on himself at this point, folding in two on the chair. He draws his knees up to his chest and presses his face into his legs to hide it. He hears Jeremy draw in a sharp breath before there's the sound of the familiar creak of the stairs and Jeremy's kneeling beside the chair, hand pressed firmly against Michael's back and rubbing in circles, his other hand on his knee.

It's grounding, and Michael feels a little better, but he also feels kind of pathetic. They had been talking for, what, three minutes and Michael was already like this.

It takes a few minutes for Michael to calm down before he drops his feet onto the deck again and takes a deep breath, the cold air forcing a shiver out of him. He brings one of his knees up again and rests his elbow on it, supporting his head with his hand and just looking across the street, seeing the shining of a television in the window of the house across the street. He vaguely wonders what they’re watching.

“You do know that we all love you, right?” Jeremy asks slowly, still kneeling beside Michael.

“They don’t even know me, Jer,” Michael bites out, sounding angrier than he meant to. “Yeah, we sit with them at lunch, but there has been a grand total of three times that I actually paid attention to the conversation instead of listening to music.”

Jeremy doesn’t seem to have anything to say, and a heavy silence falls between them once again. Michael’s chewing on his thumbnail and blinking tears out of his eyes when he decides to speak up again.

“Sorry for freaking out. You should, um, get going if you want to-”

“I’m sorry.”

“-pardon me?”

“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy says again, a bit louder this time, and Michael looks over at him. “About everything. All the shit I put you through with my Squip, and… being too cool for video games.”

Michael lets out a dry laugh. It’s not even a funny situation. “You apologized at the play, Jeremy.”

“I did, but I could barely say it. You… you saved everyone’s life, even though the majority of them had been… bad people to you,” Jeremy glances away before looking back to Michael, his own eyes shining. “I think the only person there who hadn’t hurt you was Christine. You saved us all and gained nothing out of it.”

“... I got my best friend back.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t been a best friend for so long.”

“And I got a group of friends.”

“That you did get. A group of friends, who I’m sure are eager to meet the real you, you know?” Jeremy finally stands up then, gesturing at himself and smiling goofily. “I mean, they like the real Jeremy, and the real Michael is about eighty percent cooler than the real Jeremy, so I am confident they’ll love him.”

Michael smiles into his hand, his heart lifting up a little bit.

“So, Michael, I don’t know I’m ever going to make this up to you, and I don’t think I ever could, but if there’s anyway, please tell me.” Jeremy kneels down again and puts one of his hands on Michael’s shoulder. “Like, actually tell me because you and I both know that I can’t pick up on social cues.”

Michael stands up then and stretches a bit. “I’ve pretty much already forgiven you.”

Jeremy stands up and puts both his hands in his pockets. “Alright, fine. Humor me a bit and let me do some nice things for you to try to fix the shit I put you through.”

“Oh, you think the shit, trademarked, was all your doing? You aren’t that powerful.” Michael starts heading towards his door. “Just buy me popcorn and a soda at the theater and we’ll be good.”

Jeremy follows him in, laughing hard. “Okay, first thing… did you just say… trademarked… out loud?”

Michael nods, as if proud of himself. He enters the basement, going into his separate room and locking the door behind him and starts looking through his pants.

“Oh my God. Okay, okay, second thing: You’re going to come with us?”

“Well, I mean, sure, if we haven’t missed it already because you decided to have an emotional conversation with me.”

Jeremy hums. “There’s no way we missed the movie. It’s showing at 9:30.”

Michael checks his clock and his eyes widen a bit. “I- what? It’s only 8:00.”

“I… may have left my house around 7:15 because I know you like sitting outside for a bit after your mom leaves for work at 7:00 and I just so happened to… want to talk to you.”

Michael pauses in his movements, holding the pair of pants in his hands and tightening his grip, wrinkling the fabric. He smiles down at them and internally groans when he sniffles. “... Thank you, Jer.”

“Are you alright?” Jeremy asks, his voice full of concern, and Michael feels as if the hole that had been dug out of his chest was slowly filling up again. Slowly, but surely.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just… emotional.” Michael sets the jeans down on his bed and uses the back of his arm to wipe his eyes. “You asshole.”

“I- what?”

“Making an emotional wreck out of me. My calm and collected facade, shattered.”

Jeremy laughs and Michael pulls on a clean shirt, stepping into the jeans. “Oh no, how will Michael, the Cool Kid Extreme, live now?”

Michael opens his door and dramatically falls against the doorway. “Only God knows now.”

Jeremy falls apart from laughing and Michael joins him, glad to have back something he had missed so much, even if it was just laughing at stupid jokes. It’s something that Michael would warmly welcome back into his life if he was to lose it ever again.

When they arrive at the movie theater later, everyone seems excited to see Michael. Michael doesn’t know if it’s genuine or if Jeremy told them to in that group chat, but he doesn’t question it. Christine immediately strikes up a conversation with him and he willingly joins in on it, and he’s relieved that no one points out that his eyes are tinged with red.

Michael sits in his seat in between Jeremy and Chloe, balancing a comically large popcorn in his lap and sipping from another comically large Coke in his clutch.

(“What size do you want?”

“Small is okay.”

“Alright.” Jeremy turned towards the cashier. "Can I have a large popcorn and a large coke?”)

Michael has no idea how much it all cost Jeremy (He refused to tell.), but even the small gesture, which was sure to catapult him into a food coma, had him grinning from ear to ear, that also being comically large.

***

Here's the _other_ thing:

Jeremy is a hopeless romantic.

Yes, he does have a… late night schedule that he most likely won't drop, and he would totally like it if he got laid, but he still wants to date someone and make them feel loved.

Michael knows this completely, having been subjected to Jeremy's long rants about Christine over to the phone. Michael would put his phone on the speaker and throw it onto his bed, just laying down himself and chewing on a hoodie string.

Those were too frequent to be a person who just wants someone for sex.

(Not that Michael ever thought that was what Jeremy wanted; he was just pointing out facts and slowly dug a hole for himself.)

It wasn't like you had to even be dating the boy for him to be ridiculously sweet to you. He lent his cardigan to Brooke when she complained about the cold once and bought Rich candy when all he had done was mentioned it once. He fit right into the group and became like the second group mom, behind Christine, of course.

If Jeremy wasn't so nice, then this would've been easier. It wouldn't be Michael pining after a pretty boy, it would be Michael pining after a pretty jerk and he'd be able to stop himself from doing so.

(Michael doesn't like to think about the time that Jeremy was squipped. Yes, he had been an asshole then, a really big jerk then, but a lot of it had been his Squip bullying him into it and promising him nearly impossible things. Michael forgave, but he might not forget, so he would act like he forgot.)

He's getting off topic here.

The main thing is that Jeremy is a hopeless romantic, meaning that he has a shit ton of mixed feelings on universe assigned soulmates.

On one hand, Jeremy doubts that soulmates are really meant to be together when his mom and dad were soulmates and had split up, doubting even more when Michael's parents ended up being a horrible match. He had only witnessed soulmate situations go sour, so that's where one side of his said a big old “screw you” to the universe and crushed on whoever he liked.

On the other, though, Jeremy wanted to meet his soulmate. He wanted to meet them naturally and just see where it goes from there. He'd be hesitant to get close to them because of the disasters he had seen, but he wants to be different than his parents; he wanted to actually stay with and love his soulmate. Sure, he has dated two girls who were not his soulmate in the past, but he really does want to meet his soulmate, and really doesn't what their relationship to fail.

Michael knew all of this because of how late they tended to stay up on weekends, and how open Jeremy becomes when he's tired. Whether they were together, or one of them had randomly called the other, they talked a lot. Most of it was joking, but some was serious stuff like that.

Michael decided that Jeremy was sort of like those drama masks. First off, he was dramatic as all hell (irrelevant information, Michael), and he had a positive and negative outlook on soulmates.

(It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing-

What the hell, it's not the time to reference your seventh grade John Green phase, Mell.)

So, all in all, Jeremy's a hopeless romantic. He got everyone a rose on Valentine's Day and took Christine stargazing, that cheesy idiot.

(Tone down the fondness, Michael.)

When Jeremy's crushing, he shows it. He is not subtle whatsoever, and it's honestly both funny and sad to watch as he trips over words and bites his tongue talking to his crush. He's obvious as anything, and he'd be even more obvious if he had figured out who his soulmate is.

And even though Michael had hoped and dreamed and prayed, he hadn't gotten his way.

He simply wasn't Jeremy’s soulmate.

That much he could tell.

***

It's three AM on a Saturday when it happens.

He had just gotten off the phone with Jeremy and was staring at his phone screen with bleary eyes and yawning. His eyelids started to fall when he felt a bit of pressure on his forearm.

He brushed it off, thinking his soulmate somehow injured themselves again when the pressure started moving. In oddly neat lines.

Michael woke right up then, yanking his sweatshirt off and it occurred to him as he got stuck in it that he could've just… rolled up… the sleeve.

(Dammit.)

He finally manages to get it off and shines his phone flashlight on where he felt the pressure and a grin takes over his face.

**_Hello,_** reads hot pink glitter pen, **_How are you?_**

Michael can't contain his excitement as his hand shakes when reaching for a pen and grabbing one, shakily writing a response in black ink.

**_I'm great! How have you been? Nice pen, btw._ **


	2. Emerald Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael meets someone new. His name is Noah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, even though I don't outright say it, Rich has his lisp  
> i cannot/will not write out his lisp ok

The odds that you will be struck by lightning in your lifetime is a one in nine million chance.

That chance is more than the odds of winning a Powerball, which is one in 195 million.

That's an enormous chance that most likely isn't going to happen.

But do you know what's even less likely to happen than all of that?

The universe connecting you to someone who speaks the same language as you. By searching the internet, Jeremy has found that 323.1 million people live in the U.S.A, and not even everyone speaks English (it wasn't like the U.S.A. was the only place where English was widely spoken). So, roughly, that was a 323.1 million in 7.5 billion chance.

Yet, he just so happened to be lucky.

It was even slimmer of a chance that they'd just so happen to live in New Jersey as well.

Going back to the internet (Thank you, Google), Jeremy found that about 8.944 million live in this shit hole of a state (Sorry, New Jersey). So, that was a one in 8.944 million chance.

Yet… he just so happened to be lucky. He happened to be lucky enough that they lived in his town, and went to his school, and was his age.

He knew this because he could feel their body near overheating when the fire had been raging at Jake's party. Luckily they got out in time.

He knew because during every school assembly, he could feel invisible nails digging into the palms of his hands, just blunt enough to not hurt. He knew it wasn't him because his nervous tick was rocking on his feet and bouncing his legs.

Now, the chance of them liking video games as much as him, maybe even more?

Slim, slim, slim.

Yet here Jeremy is, trying to force himself to pay attention in class when he can feel the drag of a pen over his left arm. His entire arm had filled out the night before with their conversation and he had to scrub at it until the skin was red for it to finally clean off. It seems like his soulmate had done the same, seeing as how they were writing on that arm again.

Finally, his curiosity got the best of him and he rolled up his sleeve, hiding his arm under the table.

There was a drawing of Pac-man chasing after a ghost and a symbol from his favorite video game. Beside it, his soulmate had written, _**You play AotD?**_

 _ **I do** **,**_ Jeremy wrote back, grimacing at his choice of green glitter pen that day. His soulmate must think he's a little kid.

(Wait, he just wrote that plays Apocalypse of the Damned. What child plays that game?)

((... wait, he did.))

 _ **Coolio.**_ There was a pause where Jeremy was going to roll down the sleeve again when they continued to write. _**This feels like an advanced version of being left on** **read** **. Why'd you leave me on** **read** **for so long??**_

Jeremy has to stifle a laugh and the teacher gives him a look. He puts the pen to his skin again.

_**Wary of soulmates.** _

_**I got a friend like that! Very edgy, if I do say so myself.** _

Jeremy had to cover his mouth again and the teacher put her hands on her hips that time. “Do you have something to share with the class?”

Jeremy's eyes widened and he looked around the class, seeing everyone's eyes on him. “I… uh… soulmate s-stuff?”

And cue that laughter. Jeremy was humiliated. “Well, tell her that you're in the middle of class. Don't let it happen again.”

Jeremy nodded and slouched down in his chair before raising the pen.

_**You got me in trouble.** _

_**Oh, I'm sorry!**_ They drew a frowning face. _**Am I too funny?**_

_**Yes.** _

There was a pause. _**Nice.**_

Neither of them wrote anything for a bit. During the last few minutes in class, his soulmate wrote something.

_**Hey, what's your name?** _

Jeremy shakily wrote his response. _**What's yours?**_

_**Are you nervous? I can tell because your lines are all shaky.** _

_**Shut up.** _

_**Hah. Alright. My name is Michael. Now you have to tell me yours.** _

Jeremy's eyes went wide and he's positive that his heart stopped. The pen would've clattered out of his hand if he didn't have his fists balled up so tight.

Apparently, he took too long, which prompted his soulmate to write to him again.

_**C'mon, don't be shy!** _

Jeremy's hands were even shakier than before as he pressed the pen to his arm and wrote the first name that came to mind.

_**Noah.** _

Now, why the hell did he write that? He didn't even know if he was talking to Michael Mell (rare chance, rare, rare, rare, he repeated to himself), and if he wasn't, revealing himself later would just be plain awkward. Jeremy was nowhere close to Noah. He just felt the need to hide, he guesses.

He feels the pen on his arm again but he doesn't look at it. The bell rings and he's the first one out the door, walking in the same direction as everyone without paying much attention.

Okay, Jeremy, think. They're in the same school as you, and their name is Michael. You're popular now, you know a lot of people; how many Michael's do you know?

Jeremy raked his brain for an answer. _I know five Michael's._

The odds that his soulmate is his best friend is a one in five chance.

Now, how many of those like to play video games?

One in four-

 _Including_ Apocalypse of the Damned.

One in three chance.

How many of the remaining Michael's have anxiety that is clearly shown?

Michael #3 is a theater nerd that is somehow more flamboyant and made for the stage than Christine. Sure, he gets nervous, but it's never shown on the outside.

Now it's a one in two chance.

And… how many of those Michael's have not met or contacted their soulmate yet?

Michael #2 had a game going with his soulmate. They were seeing who could embarrass the other more through their writing. So far, his soulmate was winning: she had drawn a… well… a _thing_ on his forehead in permanent marker.

So, that left it a… one in one chance.

Jeremy was going to either pass out, scream, or just sit down and stare at a wall. He could feel panic pressing down on his chest and he stops himself for a second, leaning against the wall and standing in the doorway of an empty class, leaning against the wall and sucks in a needed breath.

Okay, okay, so Michael is his soulmate. Cool. That's no reason to panic, it's not something bad. Besides, he wants to be the kid in the people around him who actually sticks with his soulmate, and look at them, having fought _horribly_ and somehow managing to come back stronger than ever.

When he had said that, he had meant… romantically…

No big deal! Switch it up a bit, now he means it platonically. Either way, now him and Michael are just closer, so there's absolutely no reason why Jeremy should make it weird.

All he has to do is stand up, and go into the cafeteria and sit down at the table like nothing happened, like Jeremy's entire world hadn't just changed before his eyes.

Aaaaand Jeremy’s walking to the cafeteria when his eyes widen again. He lied about his name. Michael thinks his soulmate is some boy named Noah. Was this like… advanced catfishing?

Oh God, it totally was. He was _advanced catfishing_ his best friend.

What if Michael had already fallen in love with Noah? What would Jeremy do then? How would he reveal the truth to Michael?

Jeremy now had to make sure to never wear short sleeves around Michael in case he decides to write to his soulmate. He also had to hide his collection of glitter pens.

He realized that he couldn't suddenly cut off talking to Michael now that he knew. If he did, Michael would get suspicious, and by some powerful force he'd figure out that Jeremy was his soulmate. He figured out weird shit like that.

(“He went crazy trying to get it out.”)

Jeremy tuned back into the world around him and found himself in the doorway to the cafeteria. He looked up and saw Michael already at the table (...was he _arm wrestling Christine?_ ) and he decided that he wasn't mentally prepared to deal with everything yet.

He turns on his heel and heads for the door, walking out of it and into the parking lot. He walks up to Michael's car, pulling off his necklace and shoving the copy of the key into the lock, unlocking the back.

(“What if I steal your car?”

“Jeremy, if you steal my car, I'll cry.”

“... I won't steal your car.)

He climbs into the back of the car and shuts the door, bending his legs at a weird angle and laying on the floor.

He caves in and rolls up his sleeve, reading what Michael wrote.

_**Noah? Cute name. I like it.** _

Jeremy was screwed. More writing started to appear and Jeremy’s arm was shaking.

 _ **I'm in lunch right now and my friend's skipping without me.**_ There was a pause. _**Did that jerk steal my car?**_

Another pause. Jeremy crossed his fingers.

**_...He wouldn’t steal my car. I’ll go check if he doesn’t show up soon._ **

_...Fuck,_ Jeremy thought, curling up a bit.

***

Jeremy was completely and utterly screwed.

“Dude, I found you shaking like crazy on the floor of my car,” Michael says later as they're playing Left 4 Dead. Jeremy keeps dying, distracted by other things. “And now you can't focus. I won't force it out of you but… can you tell me what's wrong?”

Jeremy puts down his controller and rubs his face, trying to think of a believable lie. He drops his hands and puts them in his lap, talking quietly. “Just… overthinking soulmates and stuff.”

Michael scoots closer and rubs his back and Jeremy goes ramrod straight, finally figuring out why he always felt warm when Michael touched him.

“What's wrong? They say something wrong?”

“No, it's just…” Deep breath in. “What if they… think I'm something I'm not… and then get disappointed when I'm different?”

“I say screw them then!”

“Huh?”

“They can't expect you to be a certain way; all they've seen is your handwriting. Now, if it's something personality wise, and they meet you and you're completely different, then I'd say that's a fault on both ends, but I don't think you'd do that to someone,” Michael explained, waving a hand. “If they assumed shit about you while barely knowing you, it’s their fault. You still haven’t written to them, have you?”

Jeremy gulped. “N-No…”  
  
“Then they have nothing to assume. You’ll be fine,” Michael reassures, moving back over to his spot and picking up his controller. He looks over to Jeremy and smiles sweetly. “Hey, could you be a dear and get me a Coke from the fridge?”

“What? No, you go get it,” Jeremy says, his mood a little bit better. Michael pouts overdramatically and Jeremy laughs. “Fine, you big baby.”

“Thanks!” Michael calls out after him as he walks upstairs. He pauses in the kitchen for a second, chewing on his lip.

Even though he had pretty much confirmed the fact that Michael is his soulmate, there still was a bit of doubt. For example, Michael hadn’t mentioned his new found soulmate and Jeremy knew how excited he got over them. Surely he would’ve mentioned “Noah” by now…

Jeremy decided that he needed that extra push. He pulled out the pen from his back pocket and pushed up his sleeve, uncapping the pen with his teeth and writing on his arm hurriedly as to not make Michael suspicious of his absence.

He wrote: _**Did your friend ever end up taking your car?**_

Simple, discreet. If he knew Michael, he knew that he’d get a reply like lightning. Surely, he felt the pen gliding across his skin as he started back down the stairs with two Cokes. He saw the back of Michael’s head and he can’t explain the feeling that ran through him when he couldn’t see him writing. He’s not even sure if it was relief. As he walked closer, he began speaking.

“Hey, I didn’t know you-”

There was a pen in his hand, not a controller. He couldn’t see that he was writing because he was drawing a small picture on the inside of his wrist. Michael looked up and smiled at Jeremy, and Jeremy registers the feeling of pen on his wrists and sees his own handwriting on Michael’s arm.

Jeremy looked back with wide eyes and stumbled back a few steps, dropping the cans on the concrete ground. One of them burst and soda shot out of it, spraying onto Jeremy’s leg.

Jeremy, himself, stumbles back a few more steps and trips over his own feet, falling on his ass, eyes still wide and mouth open. He doesn’t really notice Michael scrambling to get up and kneeling in front of him trying to get his attention as a voice whispers in his ear.

“Surprise,” it says, and Jeremy takes in a breath. “Are you really worthy to be his soulmate, though? I mean, look at how much you’ve lied about your identity already, Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s arm shoots out and he grabs Michael, pulling him in to hug him and Michael complies, hugging him tightly.

 _It’s a dream,_ Jeremy chants like a mantra in his head, _Shut up._

Only one-half of the chant works, Jeremy notices, as some dreams somehow seem to come true.

***

Jeremy’s slightly buzzed, laying on Michael’s bed and staring at the ceiling. His head feels light and the smell of weed makes his nose twitch.

It’s some time in the middle of the night (maybe morning?) and he’s starting to come down from his high, as is Michael.

Michael’s sitting with his back against the bed next to where Jeremy’s head is, playing on his phone. Music plays quietly in the background, and Jeremy can’t exactly place what is, nor does he care enough to. He coughs and gets the attention of Michael.

“You feeling any better, dude?” he asks softly, and Jeremy hums.

“Not really. I don't know.” He yawns loudly. “I'm not sure why I freaked out that badly.”

“...Do you want to talk about what it was?”

Jeremy stills a little. “Um. Not really, sorry.”

“You don't need to be. I get it.”

“Can you just, uh, talk? Tell me a story; tell me about your soulmate.” Jeremy was digging a hole for himself and he damn well knew it. “Have they contacted you yet?”

“Ah, well, I didn't want to go all out telling you because of how you feel about soulmates, but yeah,” Michael starts, sounding excited. Jeremy bets that if he were to look at Michael's face, he would be grinning from ear to ear. “His name's Noah. He plays Apocalypse of the Damned and his favorite animal is a dolphin.”

“Noah? Like the ark?” Shut up, Jeremy.

Michael laughs slightly. “Yeah. It's cute.”

“Yup. You guys talk a lot now?”

“Mhm. I think he lives in the same time zone cause he hasn't said anything in awhile. He's probably sleeping.”

“What? It's not that late.”

“Jeremy, it's four AM.”

“And?”

“That's pretty damn late.”

Jeremy yawns again and nods his head. “You got me there Mikey.”

“‘Mikey?’ Okay, that's it, I'm putting you to bed,” Michael says, standing up and throwing a cover messily over Jeremy. “Sleep.”

“I need to brush my teeth.”

Michael yanks off the blanket. “Good point.”

Jeremy gets up and walks into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

He pulls out his pen again and looks at his arm. He doesn't pause to wonder if it will make Michael suspicious before he starts writing.

_**Hey, sorry about disappearing. I fell asleep; am probably going back to sleep** _

It’s… weird, talking to Michael like this. The risk of being caught, and seeing words appear on his skin.

(Jeremy can’t say that he doesn’t like it, though.)

He actually brushes his teeth then and changes his clothes before leaving the bathroom to see Michael writing on his arm again. Jeremy ignores it and falls into his bed, feeling the weight of the day finally dragging on him. He pulls the blanket back over him, pulling it over his head as well and shuts his eyes.

“Hey, that's my bed, Heere!” he hears Michael shout while laughing and he groans.

“Sorry, can't hear you, I'm asleep.”

“Exiled to the air mattress in my own house!”

“Go to sleep, nerd.”

Jeremy falls asleep that night to the sound of whispers in his ear and a tingle of a pen on his arm.

***

“No way in hell, Heere,” Rich says that next Monday. Jeremy had stopped him during lunch and pulled him outside.

“Why not?!” Jeremy exclaims, feeling hopeless.

“Because I already got my soulmate. I'm not pretending to be Michael's.”

“Please? You'll only have to play, like, three video games with him. I'll tell you what to say and set up your fake profile and everything else!”

“Why can't you do it?”

“Oh, yeah, Richard, cause it'll be super convincing when Michael wants to play a match with me and his soulmate and I suddenly have to leave to go be Noah,” Jeremy sasses and Rich squints.

“You know, for that attitude, fuck no,” Rich says again, sucking on the straw of his milkshake and looking away. Jeremy clenches his fists and shouts his next words.

“I'll pay you!”

Rich looks over at him and squints. “How much we talking?”

“However much you want.” He sees the look on Rich’s face. “Within reason. Payment per game played.”

“Fuck yes.” Rich throws his empty cup away. “What's the name of the twink I'm gonna be?”

“...Noah.”

“Nice.” He folds his arms over his chest and looks up at Jeremy curiously. “Why'd you lie to begin with? I thought you'd be jumping on that fact that Michael's your soulmate.”

“... Impulse. I got scared.” Rich motioned for him to go on. “Well, Michael takes this stuff seriously. I don't know how he'd react if he found out it was me. And besides… we don't like each other like that.”

Rich actually looked sympathetic until Jeremy said that last part. “Heere, I have a concept that's gonna blow your fuckin’ mind. Platonic soulmates.”

“I know, I know, but… I don't know. I'll tell him eventually.”

Rich gave him a look.

“...Soon.”

“That's what I like to hear. Now, let's go back inside. I'm hungry as hell and your man's starting to look uncomfortable without his knight in shining armor there.”

“Why are you like this?” Jeremy asks, covering half his blushing face with his hand.

“It's my job, Heere. I can't lose my job, I have a wife and kids.”

“Just… stop.”

Rich laughed. “If I have to be ‘Noah’, then you have to suffer through my jokes.”

“... Fine.”

“That’s also what I like to hear!”

Jeremy hung back a bit and watched Rich walk inside. He scrubbed his hands over his face and wondered how he was going to get himself out of this one without anyone getting hurt.

(… He doesn't know if he can.)


	3. Orange Blossom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael gets some advice from Christine, Jeremy and Christine meet Noah, and it turns out that Noah is more real than Jeremy thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: this is unrealistic and stupid  
> me @ me: u are writing a soulmate au  
> me: yeah but look at this that couldn't happen-
> 
> Warning: Vague description of a panic attack. It's over in like two seconds, but stay safe!

“Christine Canigula, just the girl I'm looking for,” Michael calls as he runs to catch up with her. Her speed slows and she smiled sweetly at Michael.

“Hello, Michael. What's up?” she asks and Michael gulps in a breath before forcing out his words.

“How would you say you are with giving relationship advice?”

“I'm aro-ace, Michael.” She gives him a flat look. “I was in one relationship for, like, a week, and I don't plan to be in anymore.”

“Perfect,” he says, holding the door open for her as they leave the school. “Okay, so you know how I'm crushing on Jeremy?”

“Michael, if someone were to ask me the color of his eyes, I'd be able to describe them for hours from how much you've ranted to me about them,” she jokes and Michael laughs.

“Okay, well…” He bites his lip and looks away, speaking softer. “... It turns out that he's not my soulmate. Someone named Noah is.”

“Oh, Michael,” Christine says, equally as soft and patting his back. Michael stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. We all knew the chance was super slim anyway.” He kicks a rock before looking back at Christine with wide eyes. “Moving on from that, I need your advice.”

“... Go on,” she prompts and Michael glances away for a second.

“Do you… do you think I should continue to pursue Jeremy or… just move on from him and stick with Noah?”

“That's… that's a really serious question,” Christine says, becoming serious herself and Michael glances over to her and nods. He balls up his fists and his nails dig into the palm of his hands. “I don't know if my advice would be the best for this.”

“I… I have no clue what to do here,” he admits and runs a hand through his hair, huffing out a laugh. “Your advice would be better than what I've got.”

“... Alright.” They stop outside of Christine's house. She lives fairly close to the school, so Michael isn't regretting the fact that he's going to have to go back to the school for his car. “I say that you tell Noah about your crush on Jeremy and get his input. Of course, if he acts like a jerk about it, I'd say to pursue Jeremy, but either way, from what I know, you're seriously in love with Jeremy, and you can't just ‘move on’.”

“... I… I know.”

“So you're probably going to confess to him sooner or later regardless of Noah. Besides, your soulmate could be a platonic one. I don't think you should just throw away your feelings because it suddenly feels like you have to.”

“... Thanks, Christine. That helped to clear up a lot,” he says and gives her a quick hug. He's grinning as he pulls away. “I thought you said you give bad advice.”

Christine smiled proudly. “I guess I'm not team mom for nothing.”

“You're team mom because you bought fruit snacks for everyone that one time we went to the lake,” he points out and she nods. “Also because you stopped Rich and Jake from dancing on a slippery counter at Jake's Valentine's Day Party.”

“And I'm proud of that. Anyway, I have to head inside before my parents get worried. I hope everything turns out okay for you.” She starts up the path to her door and before she enters her house she turns and waves at him, smiling wide.

Michael waves back at her and puts on his headphones as he heads back to school. He's kicking a rock a long and thinking over everything, debating on when he should come clean to Noah.

***

Jeremy's in the middle of two conversations with Michael at once. He's incredibly careful not to say the same thing in the two separate conversations, one through text and the other through orange glitter pen on his arm.

**_Hey, Noah, can I tell you something?_** Michael writes on his arm and Jeremy quickly draws a check mark.

**Player1: dude we're still on for Saturday, right? Noah’s gonna play with us and so is Chris**  
  
Jeremy doesn't know why hearing the name Noah makes him feel weird. He almost wants to correct Michael, but that would reveal everything.

**me: Totally!!! I hope Noah’s good**

_**Noah, I…** _

_**Spit it out.**_ Jeremy is trying to make Noah sound blunter and more to the point than he is. It makes him uncomfortable, but dammit if he wasn't going to be a successful catfish.

(Jeremy, that officially has to be the creepiest sentence you've ever thought.)

((Shut up, Jeremy.))

_**I have a crush on someone. Someone who isn't you.** _

_**Oh.**_ Jeremy pauses. He feels a little sick, and he doesn't know why. He glances over at the empty bottle of Mountain Dew Red and figures that that must be the reason.

His mind is racing, wondering who Michael has a crush on. He's raking his brain, trying to come up with a response. He thinks over what he knows about Michael.

Okay, so he's gay. That rules out Christine, Chloe, Jenna, and Brooke. Everyone that's left is himself, Jake, and Rich.

Well, Rich and Jake are pretty much together. Besides, one time, when they had gotten high, Jeremy asked Michael if he had a crush on Rich (for scientific purposes) and Michael laughed so hard that he snorted his water, which caused Jeremy to laugh, and it just ended up with them in tears and question forgotten.

Which left… himself.

There's no way Michael has a crush on him; he would've been able to tell by now. Michael must've had a crush on someone he wasn't close to or didn't talk to too much, that had to be it.

(Jeremy needed to learn how to drink soda slower; the stomach twisting and sick feeling was back in fuller force.)

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice that Michael had replied.

He had written: _**Yeah. It's kind of serious, and I wanted to see if that was okay with you? More like I wanted you to know.**_

**Player1: He's pretty good. We only got to play one match though, he had to leave for family stuff after the match. plus he doesn't have a mic so that sucks**

(It's a shame he left so soon, Jeremy thinks, eyeing the space devoid of a ten dollar bill in his wallet.)

_**That's okay with me, not that it has to be. Ask them out.**  _Jeremy writes, and his stomach is twisting into knots. He doesn't know why that's happening, so he ignored it.

He waits a few minutes before responding to text Michael to try and sell the fact that he's two different people. He thinks it's working out well; Noah sounds a lot more to the point and confident than Jeremy does.

**me: Aw, that sucks!**

_**Maybe one day.** _ There's a pause before more writing appears. _**Hey, can I ask a question?**_

_**Yes.** _

**Player1: Yea. But it's cool.**

**me: That's good. Hey, I'm gonna head to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow!!**

_**What's your last name? Mine is Mell.** _

Once again, Jeremy goes with his impulse. _**Bruno.**_

(Noah Bruno, huh? Nice one, Jeremy, you made him sound about as real as a cardboard cutout of a celebrity.)

The name sounds… familiar, to say the least. Jeremy doesn't know where it came from and he thinks it may be the name of some video game character or something. At least it was more creative than Smith or Brown.

(... no offense to all the Smiths and Browns out there.)

**Player1: okok, good night buddy**

Jeremy didn't open the message as to not leave Michael on read. He wanted to sell the fact that he's asleep.

“Is catfishing your profession now?” A voice in his head passes by and he shakes his head to clear it.

When he looks at his arm again, he sees that Michael has written, _**Interesting name. Like Bruno Mars?**_

Jeremy can't help the smile that tugs on his mouth. _**Yes, Michael, exactly like that.**_

_**Awesome.** _ The writing pauses again and Jeremy glances at his clock. It's twelve AM. If Jeremy started scrubbing at the ink now, he should be able to go to bed twelve-thirty. _**I'm excited for you to meet Jeremy. You guys are really alike. Anyway, I'm going to head to bed now.**_

_**Night.** _

With that, Jeremy caps his pen and gets up from his chair and heads towards the bathroom, feeling heavy guilt pulling at his feet.

After he's finished washing off the pen, he pulls out his notebook and flips to a clean page, labeling the top of it “Noah” and beginning to write.

***

Saturday came and Michael was setting up the basement.

By setting up the basement, he meant dragging out another bean bag chair ( _where did it come from?_ ) and set it next to the two that were already set up. He also meant dumping a shit ton of snacks on the floor and putting a disc in his console.

Jeremy's sitting on the couch with his leg bouncing. His eyes are trained on his phone, typing out messages at the speed of lightning. He's chewing on his lip as well, and he looks like the walking embodiment of anxiety at the moment. Michael stands up and walks over to him.

“Hey, dude, you alright?”

“Huh?” Jeremy's head shoots up and he nods rapidly. “Yeah, yep, I'm good.”

Michael doesn't miss how quick he is to shut off his phone and put it under his leg. It stings a bit that Jeremy's this intent on hiding something from them after they agreed to tell each other everything, but Michael knows that some things are private, so he doesn't worry about it for too long. “... Okay. But if I see you like that again, I'm not dropping it, okay? You looked super messed up dude.”

“Okay, first of all, rude,” Jeremy jokes, and both himself and Michael relax a little bit. “Secondly, I'm seriously okay. I'm just a bit worried about a… project.”

“A project?” Jeremy's clenching up his jaw, and Michael wonders if he himself even realized he was doing it.

“Yep. For art. Group project. I'm working with Rich. T-that's who I was texting, actually. Rich,” Jeremy's smiling. It's forced, very forced at that. Michael knows something's wrong, and he really wants to confront Jeremy about it, but he knows that if it was super serious, Jeremy wouldn't be able to lie semi-convincingly, so he decides to bring it up after Christine goes home later.

“Sounds boring. I'm glad I took music instead.”

“What, just so you can be set on the triangle?”

“Hey!” Michael near shouts, trying to control a laugh. “Don't knock the triangle! It's a super important instrument _and_ shape!”

Jeremy laughs loudly and Michael is a little relieved. At least he's okay enough to laugh like that.

(Jeremy once told Michael he didn't like his laugh.

“It's too loud. And annoying,” he explained, and Michael made an obnoxious penguin noise which caused Jeremy to flinch and swerve his cart right off the track. “What the _hell_ , man?”

“You see, that's annoying and loud. Your laugh isn't annoying or loud, it's your laugh. It shows that you're enjoying something, and if you doubt your laugh again, I'll keep making that noise.”

“Please don't,” Jeremy whines, but Michael can see his small smile as he looks down at his controller.)

There's a knock on the basement door and a few seconds after Michael shouts “come in!”, Christine comes bounding down the stairs, a bag slung over her shoulder.

“What's up?” she asks, dropping the bag, which makes a loud thumping noise.

“What is in there, Chris?” Michael asks as she sits down in a bean bag chair.

“Scripts. I got a lead role,” she explains, opening a Twizzler and biting off half of it. “And you two are going to help me practice between rounds.”

“Says who?” Jeremy jokes and Christine points at herself with a mouthful of candy and Jeremy nods. “Compelling argument.”

Jeremy gets up from the couch and drops down into his bean bag chair in between Michael and Christine. Michael goes into his account and sees a pending invite for a party from Noah0925. He accepts it and Noah types a message into the chat.

All it says is “Hello”, and Michael laughs quietly to himself before glancing over at Christine and Jeremy.

“His mic is busted. I'm going to have to get his Skype sometime so you guys can actually meet him,” he explains, and the anxiety in Jeremy seems to return. It's not obvious, not at all, but Jeremy starts chewing on his lip again, and his eyebrows furrow a little, and Michael can tell that something's wrong again. He goes to point it out but he's cut off by the person he's confronting himself.

“He's starting a game.” Jeremy picks up his controller and so does Christine. Michael slowly lifts his own, wanting to continue his train of thought, but he's cut off just as quick once again. “He's only level two. How long ago was this account made?”

“Oh, um, he said that he rarely plays anything, he's usually really busy,” Michael explains, distracted now. He forgets what he was even going to talk about beforehand, so he just brushes it off. “I think he has a lot of siblings or something.”

Jeremy nods and so does Christine. With that, they begin their match.

(Christine wipes the floor with Jeremy, and when he turns to her, completely shocked, she smiles and says, “I have a lot of free time between shows.”

Michael dies of laughter, snorting soda and laughing even harder at that.)

***

“I don't know, I mean, he's the party leader so he has to start the next match,” Michael explains to Christine after five minutes of waiting between their second and third match. They're rehearsing lines and Jeremy is sitting on the couch behind them. His cardigan has been taken off and one of his knees is propped up in front of him. He leans his arm on it and presses the tip of the orange pen to the inside of his arm. “Oh! He's writing to me now.”

_**Sorry I left. Babysitting,**_ Jeremy writes, capping the pen and clutching it in his fist. It was risky as all hell, but he knew Michael would be too distracted by the words to pay Jeremy any attention. As he's sliding his cardigan back on, he realizes that he didn't account for Christine.

His head whips up and he locks eyes with her. She's staring at him with wide eyes, and her eyes dart to the pen in his hand and the orange ink that suddenly appeared on Michael's skin. Her mouth slightly drops open, and as the stare off between them continues, Jeremy feels his heart rate pick up. He's going to throw up.

Michael turns towards them and Christine turns back to him as if nothing happened. Jeremy still sitting there, his eyes now on his lap and the pen in his pocket. He's bouncing his legs rapidly as well. Michael reads them the message out loud before looking up and smiling.

“Looks like no more team gaming today. If you guys want to play something else, we can,” he suggests and Christine shrugs. Jeremy doesn't respond.

He knows Christine, and he knows her well. She's going to get on his case about this and be pissed off at him. She's nice, but Jeremy knows that she gets defensive of her friends, and Michael is practically her best friend at this point.

Noah doesn't fucking exist. He's a figment of his imagination that he pushed onto Michael because of his own fears.

Jeremy's an asshole. He's having Michael fall in love with a person who doesn't exist. He's tricking the person who's always been there for him because he's scared.

Scared of what, though? There's nothing to be-

_“Jeremy!”_

Jeremy jolts violently and his head whips up. He finds himself face to face with Michael, whose hands are on his shoulders. Michael looks concerned, and Jeremy registers the blunt nails digging into his shoulders.

“Seriously dude, what's wrong?” He asks and Jeremy's eyes dart all over his face. He slightly sees a concerned Christine over his right shoulder, but he doesn't think too much of it. “You've been spacing out all day, and right now, you looked terrified. And I refuse to take ‘I'm fine’ as an answer now.”

“I… I…”

Jeremy can't get the words out. The room feels too small, and he feels too big. His heart is beating uncomfortably fast, and everything is too much. It presses down on him intensely heavy, and-

He's being hugged and Michael's saying words.

“-breathe with me,” he finishes, Jeremy catches the tail end. Michael starts taking exaggerated breaths that are quite loud and Jeremy strives to match them. He does eventually and he clings onto Michael for a while longer. Eventually, Michael pulls away and Jeremy touches his face, surprised to not feel tears. He looks around the room and makes a surprised noise.

“Where's Christine?” he asks, and his voice is unintentionally small.

“I asked her to give us five minutes. She's upstairs right now.”

“You didn't have to-”

“Yeah, I did,” Michael cuts off, leveling Jeremy with a serious look. “You were panicking, and I didn't know what for, but I wanted to give you as much space as I could without leaving. Besides, I knew that she'd be okay with going upstairs; she gets it.”

“... Okay,” Jeremy says and reached out for Michael again, who willingly hugged him.

“... Do you want to talk about it?”

Jeremy slowly shakes his head after a few moments. “Not… not right now. I can- I will- I'll tell you when I'm ready, okay?”

“... Yeah.” Michael pauses for a moment and pulls away, looking at Jeremy again. “I want you to tell me as soon as you're ready, though.”

Jeremy doesn't say anything for a bit. He just looks back at Michael expectant face and breaths.

He can do this. Breathe, Jeremy.

“... I will.”

… Eventually.

***

It's a week after the incident, a Monday. Michael's lazily walking through the hallway towards the lunchroom.

The crowd is thinning as he gets closer to the cafeteria doors and he sees the bulletin board full of the current events for the school.

He goes to walk past it, but then he sees the casting list for the play. He debated for a second, but then his curiosity gets the best of him, scanning the casting list for Christine’s name.

(She forgot to tell them her character's name when she was over, them all opting to watch a movie after Jeremy calmed down, her going home after a bit with her scripts.)

Michael didn't know why it concerned him so much, but he decided that he really wanted to know what character she was playing.

He saw her name and was about to read her character, but then his eyes caught a flash of a familiar name.

He looked at the name of the person listed as the male lead above her name and his eyes widened dramatically.

_Noah Bruno as … Romeo._

(Wow, _Romeo and Juliet_? Michael wondered if this one included zombies as well.)

((Spoiler alert… it did.))

Now Michael _had_ to go and see this play too. He marks down May 20th on his phone calendar and walks into lunch with a smile on his face.

 


	4. Blueberries and Strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes... someone is not what they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my favorite time is when im reading comments and a majority of them are just "WHAT THE HELL JEREMY" because I agree
> 
> (also why are chapters #4 in both my multi-chapter fics so eDGY-)

Here's the thing:

The date is April 5th. Exactly one month ago, March 5th, Jeremy discovered who his soulmate is.

Since then, Jeremy has been talking to Michael nearly double, and he… never got bored of talking to him.

(Not that he thought he would get bored of him! It just… was weird that they never seemed to run out of things to talk about.)

While the second conversation was built on a foundation of lies and he relearned things about Michael that he already knew… he couldn't talk to the boy too much.

It's… weird (nice). It makes Jeremy's stomach twist in knots whenever he feels the pen on his skin or his phone lights up with a notification. It makes his face flush when he's face to face with Michael, whether in the middle of school, gaming, or even just skyping.

They could just be buying slushies and Michael will laugh at a joke Jeremy made and Jeremy's face will redden with his stomach knotting up and-

Oh, God. Oh no.

That's what this is, isn't it?

The inevitable happened. Actually, now that he thinks about it, the inevitable has been happening for years now.

Michael got braces in their sixth-grade year. They were rainbow colored, and Jeremy thought they made him look adorable, although he was sad to see the gap between his two front teeth go.

He was confused by the feelings, so he repressed them and ignored them.

Michael told Jeremy that he was gay in eighth grade. Jeremy asked him if he was sure and Michael asked, “Are we a team? The answer’s the same for both.”

Confusion. Repress and ignore.

Ninth grade. Jeremy shoots up even more than he did before, and he's about half an inch taller than Michael now. Michael demands a refund from mother nature and Jeremy nearly keeled over laughing at his mock frustration.

Confusion. Repress and ignore.

Tenth grade. Michael's sixteenth birthday. Most sweet sixteens are extra as hell, and when Jeremy asked Michael if he was going to do something like that, the boy just rolled his eyes and smirked. “I only need my player two to have a good birthday.”

Confusion. Repress _and_ ignore.

Tenth grade part two. Christine Canigula waltzes onto the stage as if she owns it and blows Jeremy away with her amazing acting. Jeremy's immediately captivated. He shares his new crush information with Michael on the walk home and sees Michael's face fall for a few second before his smile is back and he's teasing Jeremy.

Confusion. Repress and ignore.

Eleventh grade. Jeremy leaves Michael alone in the bathroom. His Squip tells him to leave not too long after. Jeremy realized his fuck-up and tries to contact Michael, only to be shocked from his Squip back into submission. He hears about the fire and throws up, worry racking his body. Michael ends up okay and saves everyone. Jeremy is-

_Confusion. Repress and ignore._

Eleventh grade part two. Michael is his soulmate. He pretends to be someone else because it's a little awkward to be soulmates with your best friend, but Jeremy will tell him soon, so it's okay. Jeremy-

Confusion. Repress-

He can't ignore it anymore.

Here's the _actual_ thing:

Jeremy is head over heels for Michael.

***

_**I just realized a crush I have on someone.** _

Michael reads over the words that appear on his arm in blue glitter pen. He smiles softly until the raw panic hits him accompanying the words. He writes fast and messy.

_**Woah, are you okay? Tell me all about it.** _

The next time Noah writes, he's noticeably calmer, but there's still underlying panic. Michael can't feel the emotion because it's very little now, but he can tell by the hurried writing, messy writing that he's not completely calm.

_**I'm very close to them and I've felt this way for a while but it took something enormous for me to realize that I actually like them more than a friend and I have no idea what to do** _

The chunk of writing takes up a lot of his forearm, so he moves on to his hand before writing.

_**You should tell them. If you're close to them, then what's to fear?** _

Michael realizes then that he's being a hypocrite; he's petrified to even think about approaching that topic with Jeremy. Who is he to give advice?

_**They told me they have a crush on someone already. They didn't explain much of it but I'm pretty sure it's not me and** _

The writing stops abruptly. The “d” in “and” is barely finished. Michael is about to write when Noah continues writing, now with a red glitter pen.

_**it's gonna be super awkward after I tell them like yeah we're still gonna be friends but they're gonna be weirded out.** _

Michael writes: _ **I believe in you, Noah. You might not want to tell them right now, but you should seriously tell them soon.**_

Noah doesn't write back for a bit after that. Michael's reaching for his phone to text Jeremy when more words appear.

_**I actually have something to tell you.** _

The words make Michael a bit anxious. He takes a breath and writes back.

_**Yeah?** _

It takes Noah a while to respond. In fact, it takes Noah over half an hour to respond, and Michael is nervous as hell. He texted Jeremy about twenty-five minutes ago and didn't get a response from him either. His nerves finally settle a little when Noah writes back.

_**The person I have a crush on is a guy, and so am I, so what if they think that's bad?** _

Michael scribbles out the sentence and Noah writes back right away.

_**Why did you do that?** _

_**We have fate aligned soulmates, and sometimes they give people same gendered soulmates. You'll be fine in that aspect if he isn't an asshole.** _

Michael waits a few seconds and Noah doesn't say anything else, so he writes again.

_**Are you sure that's what you wanted to tell me?** _

Five minutes pass before he gets a response. Michael can feel deep sadness and he wants more than anything to be there to comfort Noah.

_**Yes, I'm sure. Goodnight.** _

_**Night, Noah.** _

Michael puts down his pen and runs his hands over his face. Peeking between his fingers, he looks at his still unanswered (now read, rude) text sent to Jeremy and mentally wished that he was in contact with his soulmate so that Michael could ask for advice.

How do you help someone that you don't even know?

***

“Do you realize how badly that could mess up Michael?” Christine says in a harsh tone.

So far, Jeremy had skillfully avoided her, but then they had an assembly, and it seems like Christine doesn't mind skipping an assembly to yell at Jeremy in a broom closet.

“You could break his heart, Jeremy! You have to come clean to him sooner rather than later!” She poked a finger into his chest. “And by sooner I mean today or tomorrow.”

“I know, but Michael's going to be furious with me.”

“No, Michael's going to understand.” Christine picked up an empty Windex bottle and smacked Jeremy in the chest with it. “You stale bagel.”

“I- huh?”

“You lied to him at first. You were scared, everyone gets scared. You, Jeremy Heere, the walking embodiment of anxiety, lied about your identity when you suddenly found out that your best friend, who you've known since you guys were eating glue, is your soulmate.”

“I… that's a good way of putting it…”

“But I can't lie to you, Jeremy. How long has it been since this started.”

Jeremy looked away sheepishly. “... Over a month…”

“ _A month?!_ ” Christine whacked him harder with the Windex bottle. “What are you, _sadistic?!_ ”

“Um, not really, it's kind of a turn off for me to-”

“Jeremy Heere, I swear to the Lord Almighty above that if you're planning to make a sex joke, I'm locking Michael in this closet with you until you talk.”

Jeremy shuts right up.

“This isn't something to joke about!”

“I know, I know, Chris, I'm just… I'm just…”

Jeremy takes a breath and backs up against the door sliding down and holding his knees to his chest, hiding his face with his arms.

“... I'm really scared. Terrified. I-I’m gonna fuck it all up again and the same thing that happened to our parents is gonna happen to… to us… and I can't let that happen and…”

Jeremy trails off. The inside of his throat feels thick, his chest feels tight, and there's a weak voice insulting him in the back of his mind. It's too much.

Christine squats down in front of him and puts her hands on his shoulders. He looks up, and his mind decides to remind him of how much of a mess he must look at the moment and he wants to hide again.

“It's going to be okay.” Jeremy's lips quiver more and he wants to escape this moment. Christine is talking to him softly, and it helps just a little. “I know this is hard for you, and I'm sorry I yelled, but I'm trying to think of what's best for the both of you, and I think coming clean is for the best. You can take your time with this, but you really should tell him soon.”

“But what if-” Christine shushed him.

“I know you think it's destiny that you two will fight and never come back together again, but look at you two now. You two separated, and it seemed like it would be permanent, but now you're inseparable again.” Christine stands and offers a hand for him. He stands up as well although his knees still feel weak. “Believe me, Jeremy, you two are stuck together like gorilla glue.”

Jeremy nods and rubs his eyes. He blinks rapidly and takes a deep breath.

“Do you want to stay in here a bit longer?” she asks and he nods, sitting back down. Christine sits down across from him and leans against the wall.

“Hey, so, for curiosity's sake, what was the name you gave Michael's fake soulmate. I know it's Noah, but did you come up with the last name too?”

Jeremy nods again and speaks. “Yep. His name is Noah Bruno. Pretty interesting, huh?”

Christine's eyes go wide and her hands fly up to her mouth. Jeremy is suddenly tense, wondering why she looks so scared (or maybe shocked?).

“Jeremy,” she starts quietly and Jeremy himself is scared now. “Noah Bruno is the name of the boy playing Romeo in the play next month.”

Jeremy's own eyes go wide, and his mouth drops open. _No wonder why the name felt familiar_ , he thinks to himself over the pounding of his heart in his ears. Okay, okay, calm yourself down, Jeremy, you don't want to panic again, think this through.

The play is _Romeo and Juliet._ Romeo and Juliet are obviously the main characters, and Noah Bruno (the real one) has been casted for Romeo. Going off of that knowledge, his name is on the bulletin board outside the cafeteria, bolded and at the top of the list. Jeremy feels a sense of relief when he remembers that Michael never looks at the bulletin board, claiming that it's just a bunch of fake news.

But there was that one time that Michael walked into lunch extremely happy. Happy-go-lucky Michael was present, and when Rich asked him, “Why do you have a happiness boner?”, (What the hell, Rich?) Michael just smiled and replied with, “Secret.”

So. That must mean that…

… Michael thinks that his soulmate is the Noah Bruno playing Romeo. That means that Michael is eventually going to talk to said Noah Bruno and get his heart torn into shreds. That means that Jeremy fucked every little thing up and that he's going to hurt his best friend horribly again.

That means that Jeremy is screwed.

Jeremy looks up and locks eyes with Christine. She must see the complete panic on his face and she hurried to try to calm him down.

“Look, okay, it's not that bad, you can just, you can just say that you go somewhere else, that, that, it's not the same Noah Bruno, or…” she trails off, and her suggestions weren't enough to reassure Jeremy. She's stuttering herself, something she never ever does, and Jeremy can feel the raw panic pressing down on his chest and he has absolutely no idea what he's going to do. He has no idea at all.

He racks his brain for a solution one more time and comes out empty handed.

… Fuck.

***

The date is April 30th when Michael is hanging out at Jeremy's house. Jeremy is downstairs doing something and Michael is looking at the pictures that Jeremy has tapped to the edges of his mirror.

His eyes get caught on one picture. It's a picture of the two of them from forever ago, maybe fifth grade.

They're both smiling wide and Michael has an arm slung around Jeremy's shoulders, pulling him close. Jeremy's doing double peace signs (ah yes, the peace sign phase) and from what Michael can see of the background, Michael believes they're at an arcade.

He smiled fondly at the picture, heart warmed that Jeremy had kept it this long.

(He wished he hadn't burned his copy.)

The door clicks open and Jeremy enters. He's wearing a sweater and his entire face looks tired. It makes Michael worry, but he hasn't been able to get Jeremy to tell him anything.

It… it hurts.

Jeremy sits at his desk and smiles, and Michael turns to face him, clasping his hands behind his back. It's uncomfortably awkward, and Michael doesn't want to think about the last time there was this much tension in the air between them. He just decides to break the silence with what has been on his mind lately.

“Thanks for inviting me over.” He takes a breath and looks around the room, powering through the next words. “Ya'know, I had actually thought you had been avoiding me lately.”

It's true. Jeremy showed up less and less during lunch and came over less and less. He was like a ghost: you'd be shocked to catch even just the slightest glimpse of him.

It hurts. A lot.

“What? No!” Jeremy seems surprised to hear it and he shakes his head. Michael can tell when he's lying, and he knows he's not now. Jeremy actually thought nothing had changed.

“I don't know, man, I just… I don't know,” he says, looking away again. He decides to change the subject to try to clear the air. “Hey, dude, guess what.”

“What?” Jesus, even his voice sounds messed up. Michael needed to talk to him about that. The next time they're on that subject, Michael is not changing it for anything.

“My soulmate probably goes to our school. He might be in drama.”

The tension only seems to rise.

Jeremy's biting his nails, something he never does, and his legs are bouncing a mile a minute. Michael has had enough of the secrets.

“What's wrong?”

“Huh?” Jeremy actually seems surprised. “Nothing.”

“That is _bullshit_ and you know it.” Michael runs a hand through his hair. “You're a mess, this room is full of tension, and you haven't talked to me in weeks! What. Is. Wrong?”

“I… I… I…”

Jeremy can't get out the words. He stands up and turns away from Michael. Michael can see him take a few deep breaths before he turns around again.

“I… can't tell you.”

“Why the hell not?!”

“Cause it'll hurt you more than anything!”

Michael's mouth snaps shut. He's angry at this point, and he doesn't know what's got him so worked up. He clenches and unclenches his fists, trying to calm himself down. The next time he speaks, it's slowly.

“You're using your fucking Squip again, aren't you?”

Jeremy is genuinely shocked. Genuinely shocked as in eyes wide, his jaw has dropped open, and hands waving shocked. “Huh? No, why would I-”

“The only other time you acted like this towards me was when you were following orders from that douchebag!” He points out and Jeremy goes quiet. “You abandoned me, Jeremy, and I don't want to think of what will happen if you leave me like that again. I don't know what I'll end up doing.”

He's getting emotional now.

It hurts a lot.

“I would never, ever do that to you,” Jeremy starts quietly and Michael cuts in.

“But you did it once!”

“I wouldn't again!”

_“So then tell me what the fuck is going on with you!”_

“I'm your- I'm, you, we are-” Jeremy cuts himself off, taking a few deep breaths. He looks scared to death, and Michael gets scared for him. He may be pissed off and close to tears, but that doesn't change the fact that he cares for him. He's still in love with him, for fuck’s sake.

“I can't get the words out.”

Forget this.

“I can't be here right now,” Michael says, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He is beyond livid, and he needs to get out of the room because it's way too much for him. He glances back at Jeremy one more time.

“Remember that you're my best friend. I know how you get, but I am so fucking pissed off with you that I can't be here right now.” He steps through the door. “Text me when you can manage to actually talk to me.”

He leaves the house, gets in his car and drives home. In the driveway, he crumbles, head on the steering wheel and sobs racking his body.

_It hurts so fucking much._

***

_**Me and my best friend fought really badly today.** _

_**Oh?** _

_**He literally looks and is acting like he knows when he's dying, but he's not telling me anything.** _

_**Is there a reason he's not?** _

_**He said he can't get the words out. I believe that, but he needs to tell me before it's too late.** _

_**Yes, he does.**_ A pause. _**Maybe it's really serious.**_

_**I don't doubt that for a second. We've gone through hell together before.** _

_**Maybe he's scared too.** _

_**Probably.** _

_**I'm sorry you had to go through that.** _

_**It's okay. Knowing us, we'll be back to normal in no time. I'm just really upset right now.** _

_**That's understandable.** _

_**Seriously, Noah? My leg?** _

_**I ran out of space on my arm!** _

_**You're ridiculous.** _

_**Do you want to talk to me or not?** _

_**Oh, yes, please, seduce me with your fine penmanship on my thigh.** _

_**… I'm going to bed.** _

_**Hey, wait, no! Wait up!** _

_**Snzzzzz** _

_**Fine. Goodnight, Noah** _

_**Night, Michael.** _

***

After school on May 3rd, Jeremy texts Michael. He's finally summoned all the courage he had and he's ready to tell Michael. He kept the message short and generic, and after he sends it, he throws his phone on his bed and tries to calm himself down.

Now all he has to do is wait for the familiar notification sound.

***

“God dammit,” Michael curses under his breath when his phone powers off.

He's sitting outside the theater, waiting for drama practice to be let out and he was trying to calm himself down by distracting himself with his phone.

It was May 3rd and Michael decided today was the day that he wanted to meet his possible soulmate.

He knew that there was a chance that this wasn't the same Noah Bruno that was his soulmate, but he was pretty sure that it was. During every assembly, the gym gets packed full of students, and each assembly, Michael felt invisible hands pulling at his hair, which meant that Noah was probably nervously pulling at his hair.

He glanced inside the open doors and sees a few of the kids heading towards the door, Mr. Reyes follows them and Michael jumps up. He's nervous but also extremely excited.

He had heard what it's like to meet your soulmate for the first time, and whether it was platonic or romantic, it was still an incredible experience.

Most of the kids leave and there's a boy left on the stage. He's drinking from a bottle of water and looking over his script.

Michael steels himself and takes a deep breath. It's now or never, Mell, he thinks and starts walking towards the stage.

The boy notices him and smiles warmly and Michael starts walking up the stairs to the stage.

“You're Noah Bruno, right?” Michael asks as he walks towards him.

“Yeah,” Noah replies, looking around. “Did Christine send you? I literally just saw her, tell her I've been practicing my lines and-”

“No, no, she didn't send me,” Michael says, waving his hands and smiling. He walks up to him and holds out a hand. “I'm Michael.”

Noah grabs his hand and shakes it. Michael doesn't feel anything. His expectations had been hyped up, and it felt like… nothing.

“Nice to meet you, Michael. What brings you here?”

“Does… does the name Michael Mell ring any bells to you?” Noah shakes his head and looks confused. “I… You share a name with my soulmate. I thought…”

Noah looks surprised for a few seconds before it shifts into a look of pity and he pats Michael's shoulder. Michael still feels nothing.

(The only way he can describe it is _blah_.)

“I'm so sorry. Oh gosh, that's horrible,” Noah apologizes, beginning to ramble. Michael kicks at the stage, disappointed, but he really should've expected it. Nothing ever really seems to go his way these days.

“I'm… I'll get going.” Michael starts to walk away. “Thank you for being so cool with this.”

“Oh, no problem! I hope you meet your soulmate soon!”

 _Me too,_ Michael thinks as he leaves and begins to walk down the hall. It's empty and quiet, the squeaking of his sneakers obnoxious loud, and everything just feels empty.

It's unbearably lonely. It's stupid and overreacting, but Michael is lonely as hell. He's not even a social butterfly, but he can't stand being alone like this.

It sucks. It really does.

But what was he expecting?

***

_**Someone at my school shares your name.** _

_**Michael?** _

_**Yeah?** _

_**We need to talk.** _

_**… about what?** _

_**I'm not exactly who you think I am. And I actually do go to your school.** _

_**What? That would mean I was talking to you today. That means you acted like you didn't know who I was.** _

Noah scribbles out the second sentence.

_**I lied about my name.** _

_**What?** _

_**I was scared so I lied. My name isn't Noah Bruno.** _

_**Well, what is your name?** _

_**I need to tell you face to face.** _

Michael's confused and upset. The glittery red ink does nothing to lift his spirits like it usually does.

_**That's impossible.** _

_**It's actually not. We go to the same school and talk nearly every day.** _

_**WHAT** _

What the hell was going on? How could Michael not tell this?

_**Please just meet me somewhere so we can talk.** _

_**Fine.** _

_**The mall? Or the park?** _

_**The mall. I don't trust you enough to “meet” you at an almost always empty park.** _

_**I understand.** _ There's a pause. _**When would you like to meet?**_

_**Saturday. I'm not going to school the next day pissed off.** _

_**Okay.** _

Michael slams his pen against the desk and runs a hand over his face. He's pretty sure that he'd be able to wash off the ink with his tears.

***

Jeremy deletes the text he sent. He throws his phone back on the bed, but this time he throws himself on the bed as well, not caring if the still drying ink stains the sheets or not.

He decides it's not that important.


	5. Pitch Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes an impressive amount of skill to become invisible to someone who knows you better than anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> News: local person shoves richjake into each story they write   
> me, holding a loaf of bread: juST TRY AND STOP ME

Michael's slowly walking through Gamestop when he feels a feeling of fear slowly uncurling in him. The root of the fear seems to come from his arm and spreads throughout his body, causing him to duck behind a shelf and roll up his sleeve.

He leans against the shelf of games as he reads his soulmate’s words.

_**I'm here. Where would you like to meet?** _

The ink is black, although there's still glitter in it. Despite Michael's current emotions, he still feels a small, fond smile pulling at his lips.

He kind of gets it now that he had a few days to think about it. At first, he was very angry and upset, feeling really lied to. He was lied to, technically catfished at that, but there was a reason his soulmate did that. Plus, it wasn't an unheard of thing for people to get scared and give their soulmate a fake name instead of their real one.

His soulmate winded up being someone he knew and talked to a lot, who was also careful with soulmates. That would freak anyone out. He is still mad that it took them this long to come clean, but at least they did come clean.

(Michael just wished they had told him before he confronted Noah with a full heart, only to have it sink.)

He pulls out his own pen and writes back. _**Where are you?**_

The words come like lightning, it's so fast. _**Food court.**_

_**Okay. I'll go to you. I'm on the first floor, so I'll be there soon.** _

Michael looks a few last games before he leaves the store empty handed and starts walking towards the escalators. As he's walking, he thinks over who his soulmate could be.

Okay, so it's someone he talks to often, and he has seven other friends. Rich and Jake are soulmates (everyone knows it but them), and Jenna has a Snapchat streak over a year with her soulmate. Christine told him once that she doesn't have a soulmate (“Seriously, I'm fine with it. I'm not going to be super edgy and write sad poems about it, Michael.”) and, from what Michael knows, neither Chloe and Brooke have written to their soulmate nor received any messages from them. Also, Jeremy has that weird soulmate complex.

So, that leaves three possible people, unless he's forgetting anyone.

Okay, so, Chloe. If she's Michael's soulmate, there would be a huge amount of confusion on both sides. They were somewhat close, but they weren't too alike. Of course, they had their occasional fast food meetings where they whined about their crushes on their oblivious best friends, but that was pretty much it. It would probably be really awkward. Michael doubts that she's his soulmate.

Okay, now Brooke. That match would be the literal definition of awkward; they aren't too close. They're mostly friends out of mutual friends, and although they bonded over their love for pineapple pizza (“It's really good! I have no idea why Chloe hates it.”), that was pretty much it, so Michael mentally rules her out as well.

Don't get him wrong; he loves them. He just… doesn't think they would work as soulmates.

So, that leaves… Jeremy.

Michael's at the top of the escalator, stepping onto the floor and looking across the mall to the busy food court.

His heart is thudding in his chest and he's suddenly shaky. This isn't just wishful thinking anymore; Jeremy could actually be his soulmate.

He tries not to hype himself up too much. Okay, okay, think about it.

His soulmate lied about their name because they were scared. Jeremy is the closest to Michael, twelve years of friendship, so this abrupt change would be scary, especially to someone like Jeremy. Jeremy doubts a lot of things about himself and everything, and he can't go a day without freaking out over something, so having your soulmate say the name of your best friend is their own would surprise the hell out of him. As a defense mechanism, he lied.

Jeremy had also been acting super weird lately and wouldn't tell Michael what was wrong. In fact, he said that telling him would hurt him more than not telling him.

(Jeremy, you were wrong.)

The suspicious way he was acting and how tightly he was keeping this secret under wraps was hinting at this all along. Jeremy sucked at keeping secrets unless they were super important.

(“Haha, yeah, Michael got detention in sixth grade for blasting My Chemical Romance in class once.”

“Dude! We agreed to never speak of that again!”)

Moreover, his soulmate and Jeremy had a plethora of similarities, even though his soulmate seemed more… blunt? He tended to ramble less than Jeremy did, but that could have just been Jeremy trying to change how he talked so that he could seem different.

His soulmate’s schedule and Jeremy's also lined up. Whenever he was talking to one of them, he was talking to the other, and whenever one was writing a reply, the other would be silent. Michael rarely got messages from his soulmate when he was hanging out with Jeremy, and when he did, Jeremy was usually not in the room.

Michael felt like smacking himself on the forehead. God, how could he have been so _oblivious?_

He makes it to the outskirts of the food court and scans the crowd. When he realizes that it's both too crowded and there's a possibility that Jeremy isn't even his soulmate (Michael, sweetie, he's your soulmate), he rolls up his sleeve and writes on his arm.

**_Where are you?_ **

**_By the taco place. I can see you._ **

**_What do you look like?_ **

**_Believe me, you'll recognize me. Just walk over._ **

Michael caps his pen and walks over to where he said he was. He looks around the tables and he sees a table with a brown haired kid with his head in his hands. The kid looks up and looks around, and as he meets Michael's eyes, Michael realizes that he's looking at Jeremy.

Jeremy looks absolutely terrified. Michael's heart freezes but he forces himself to walk over to the table and sit down across from Jeremy. Jeremy's staring at him wide eyed and Michael is definitely on the verge of tears, but he blinks quickly to clear his eyes and forced out words.

“Is it… is it safe to assume that you're my soulmate?” he says, but it comes out more as a whisper and Jeremy nods slowly.

“Uh huh.” He gulps and looks rubs his face with his hands. “I'm… I'm sorry for… everything.”

Michael presses his lips together and glances away. On one hand, he gets it, but on the other, he's pissed off. It's a weird mix.

“... Can I explain myself? I get it if you don't want me to,” Jeremy asks equally as quiet and Michael nods.

“I… I freaked out when you said your name was Michael. It was right after class, and I didn't have time to sit down and think, I guess, so I just w-wrote the first name I thought of. And for some reason, it was Noah.”

“I thought more about it and I don't know why I was so freaked out.” Jeremy takes a deep breath and waves his hands. “Not that that justifies what I did!”

Michael doesn't say anything, so Jeremy continues. “And then it… spiraled. I made Rich an account for Noah and paid him to play games. By the way, I currently owe him forty bucks that I don't have. I talked to you whenever I could by writing on my skin, and I… I guess I got used to it. Used to being… someone else.”

Jeremy shoves a drink over to Michael. Michael slowly takes a sip and notices it's watered down Coke. Jeremy has his own mostly empty bottle of Mountain Dew Red.

“Every time I tried to tell you, I chickened out. I started losing sleep over this shit and I have a notebook page filled out of ways to gently break the news but I just burned it. Eventually, Noah got a last name that was also the last name of the Noah in the play.”

“I know. I met him a few days ago.” Michael takes a sip as Jeremy's face contorts into one of utter fear. “Oh, God, don't look like that, I'm fine. He was really nice.”

“I am  _so_ fucking _sorry._ ”

“I know,” Michael says, then looks down at the table. “Are… are you sure your Squip wasn't involved…?”

“Not at all. Well, actually… not by me activating it. The soulmate thing apparently ignited something in it to make it act up a bit more.”

“Oh.” Michael bites on his thumb nail. “Did it make you avoid me?”

“No. I just… it kind of… hurt to be around you.”

Michael's heart sinks. His eyes drop to the table. “... Oh.”

“No, no, _no_ , not like _that!_ You're super awesome and I love you, dude! Let me… let me explain; I might as well come completely clean.”

Michael hesitantly looks up to his face, his heart still heavy but a tiny bit lighter. It lifts a little more when he sees Jeremy's bright red face.

“Okay, so, I know platonic soulmates are a thing. It's pretty common now, even though some people don't like that. Anyway, I figured that's what we would be, being best friends and all.”

Michael bites down hard on his lip. “M-Makes sense.”

“But the thing is that I talked to you near double and I… never got bored of talking to you. Not that I thought I would, but-”

“You don't have to explain everything that you think will offend me ‘cause it probably won't.”

“O-Oh. Sorry. Anyway, after I got over that realization, I noticed how much I loved relearning about you. I didn't want to stop talking to you. Not that- um. Yeah.”

“Jeremy, is this going where I think it's going?” Michael was hopeful. Extremely hopeful, in fact. Jeremy was showing many signs: a red face, bouncing leg and averted eyes. Those could just be from his anxiety, but Michael was a wishful thinker at times, and this was one of those times.

“Michael, I- I-”

“Spit it out.”

“I kinda sorta maybe realized how much I like you as in romance like you?”

Jeremy's words were super fast and he looked super tense. His shoulders were up by his ears and he sat ramrod straight in his chair, pushed away from the table.

“You… you what?”

“Apparently… I've had a crush on you since sixth grade but didn't realize it until this catfishing mess I caused. I guess my brain figured that me having a crush on Christine was easier than having one on you, so I repressed everything else and pined after her instead.”

“This is… wow. Jeremy, I-”

“I'm sorry.”

“Huh?”

“You know, for making this even weirder and worse than before. I'll… I'll get over you… eventually… so I'm sorry about making you deal with my crush on you.”

Michael opened his mouth to say something but Jeremy kept talking. “I mean, you and I both know how I get with my crushes, so sorry in advance if I start acting differently around you, but I'll get over it with time.”

“Jeremy-”

“So, um, I'm sorry it took so long to tell you and I'm sorry for hurting you so badly.” Jeremy sniffles and Michael feels his heart crack a little along it's badly stitched middle. “Aw, geez, I'm making this worse. I'm just… I'm just gonna go.”

Jeremy stands and so does Michael. I like you too, he wants to say, so he does.

“I like-”

“I'll… I'll see you in school, M-Michael,” Jeremy says, turning and walking quickly, slowly evolving into running away and Michael is left standing there like an idiot, clutching a Locos Tacos soft drink. It takes him a minute, but he eventually forces himself to walk over to the trash can and throw away the half full drink, starting to walk towards the exit, it feeling like everyone's eyes were on his back.

When he eventually gets out to his car, his arm tingles. He rolls up his hoodie sleeve to see some writing.

Glittery black reads: _**I'm sorry.**_

And even though Michael had just gotten his biggest wish handed to him, everything feels… bad, in a way. Jeremy had freaked out, nearly crying over this, Michael hadn't gotten any words in, and there was still a rift between the two of them, and Michael didn't know if he had a boat strong enough to cross those waters.

He had never thought that a glitter pen could be so depressing.

***

Jeremy's obviously avoiding him now. Before it was more low-key, with a little path diversion here and there, but now Michael barely caught a glimpse of Jeremy.

It super sucked.

(Hah.)

Jeremy sometimes at lunch with the whole group, but he usually kept his head down or stared down at his food with a guilty face while he ate, not talking to anyone. Michael noticed that he always had a bottle of Mountain Dew Red in his clutch, but no matter how many times Michael tried to talk to him, he never listened.

Michael even skipped his last class to wait outside Jeremy's last class of the day and somehow missed him. He has no idea how; he was paying close attention to whoever left the class!

His writing to Jeremy went ignored as well. A few examples were:

_**I like you too!** _

_**I'm not mad!!** _

_**Please talk to me.** _

_**I miss you.** _

But Jeremy never responded. Michael figures he washed all of the ink off without bothering to read it.

He had even texted Jeremy a whole block of text explaining himself and still: nothing.  
  
(He ended up deleting it a few hours later, but his point remains.)

Michael wanted to go to his house to see him at the point. He wanted to use his copy of the key that Jeremy had made him, march right on upstairs, and force this kid to talk to him. He decides that if this goes on for much longer, that's what he's doing.

It's been five days since Saturday happened and Michael's walking through the hallway and dragging his feet. He's on his way to lunch and hoping that Jeremy will actually talk to him.

Instead, someone else actually catches up to him.

“Hey,” he hears and then he's tapped on the shoulder. He turns his head and sees Noah. “Did you ever meet your soulmate?”

Michael nods and Noah grins. “Awesome! They go here?”

“Yep. Apparently, he was using a different name to talk to me,” Michael explains.

“Oh? Who is it?”

“You know Jeremy?”

“The tall nervous looking kid?”

“Yeah. It's him.”

“Oh, cool,” he says, still smiling. “I hope it works out for you!”

“Yeah, me too.”

Noah waves and practically runs into the cafeteria. Michael's still walking, clutching his backpack straps and standing in the doorway to the cafeteria. He sees Jeremy at the table and sighs in relief, but then he sees his head down with his face covered and he sighs again, feeling weighed down.

As he's walking towards the table, he thinks of ways that he can maybe get Jeremy to talk to him again.

(Spoiler alert: none of the attempts were successful.)

***

“Jeremy, you're being stupid,” his Squip says, and Jeremy sees their glitching form sitting on the edge of his desk. They're barely alive at this point; the only reason Jeremy can see them is the unopened bottle of Mountain Dew Red on his desk.

It’s eleven AM on Saturday, which means one full week of avoiding everyone as best as he could.

“I know,” Jeremy says, rubbing his eyes hard. He looks in his mirror again and groans loudly at his red eyes. There's a soft knock at his door and he sits at his desk facing away from his door before telling them to come in.

“Jeremy?” his dad says, stepping in and closing the door. Jeremy buries his face in his arms.

“Yeah?”

“Jeremy, what's wrong?” Jeremy goes to act defensive before his dad speaks up again. “And don't say anything. You haven't hung out with any of your friends in almost two weeks. Plus, I'm your dad; I can tell when something's wrong.”

Jeremy hesitantly sat up and turned towards his dad. His dad walks closer and his own face looks sad. Jeremy's sure he looks a mess with a sunken in looking face and dark lines under his eyes. His Squip walks over to his bed and sits on it with their arms crossed.

(Well, more like glitched over there, dropping onto the bed and looking startled to be there.)

“I… I met my soulmate,” Jeremy admits quietly and his dad smiles slightly.

“Well, isn’t that good?”

Jeremy shook his head. “I f-freaked out and lied to them… and then I admitted it all and… more… and now I’m avoiding them…”

“They’re someone in your friend group?” his dad asked and Jeremy nodded, looking at the ground. “It’s Michael, isn’t it?”

“Wha- How did-” Jeremy spluttered and his dad cut him off with a short laugh.

“Parents can tell that sort of thing. Besides, you two have been together forever, it just makes sense,” he explains, sitting on the bed, nearly on the Squip, who glitches back with disgust on their face.

“Well… anyway… I kind of… told him that I was his soulmate last Saturday… and then told him… more…”

“You have a crush on him, right?”

“ _How?_ ”

“Jeremy,” his dad started, monotone. “Don’t act like I’m wrong.”

“Hhhhhhhh,” he manages to get out and his dad smiles a small smile again.

“Is this what you’re avoiding him for?” his dad asked softly and Jeremy nodded, looking away.

“I’m sure he isn’t mad at you. Has he wrote to or texted you?”

“A lot. I, um, don’t read either.” He pulls down the sleeves of his cardigan for emphasis.

“I’m sure he wants to talk to you, and not yell at you. You know Michael better than anyone else, don’t you? Would he get angry at you or want to help you, because you don’t look your best right now.”

“I… I get it,” Jeremy says, rubbing his face with his hands. “I’ll text him.”

“Good.” His dad gets up and ruffles his hair. Jeremy whines and his dad laughs. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me, okay?”

“Okay,” Jeremy responds and his dad leaves the room, shutting the door behind himself. Jeremy pulls a leg up to his chest and pulls out his phone, looking at the notification for a new message. Multiple from Michael and multiple from the group chat. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he decides what to do.

“Do you really think he’ll be as lenient to forgive you this time?” his Squip inquiries, somehow standing directly in front of him in a matter of seconds. They cross their arms. “What is this, your second time breaking his heart.”  
Jeremy grabs the drink and screws off the lid.

“Fuck off,” he says and downs half the bottle. The Squip tries to say one last thing as it glitches out of his vision. He puts the bottle down and rubs his eyes again before unlocking his phone and typing out a message.

***

**To _follow xx_BrookieCookieXD_xx on MySpace:_**

**RichyBitchy: okay but answring JEnnas question, yes, i have shoved gummy bers down my pnts once**

**GossipGirl: That doesn’t even remotely answer my question**   
**GossipGirl: It just creates more**

**RichyBitchy: ;))))))**

**JakeyD: Are we going skating or not??**

**Chlo: SHit that was today???**

**JakeyD: You’ve got until 4 PM to get ready, so you can take time caking on your makeup :)**

**Chlo: Hop off my dick, Dillinger :)**

**RichyBitchy: hop on mIne**

**Brooke♡: STOP**   
**Brooke♡: Can we go today?**

**RichyBitchy: y'all gonna pau for yourselves rifht**

**YellowMellow: ill pay for myself and one other person**

**GossipGirl: :D**

**YellowMellow: no.**

**GossipGirl: D: <**   
**GossipGirl: Fine. Pay for your boyf**

**RichyBitchy: i lvoe being iconic**

**me: Can i come too?**

**YellowMellow: MCJEHDBE**   
**YellowMellow: you better!!!!**

**me: Cool!!**

**Chris:): HE SPEAKS**   
**Chris:): HECK YEAH I'LL BE THERE**

**RichyBitchy: ROLLER SKATING**

**JakeyD: Um**   
**JakeyD: sorry if I don't skate a lot for**   
**JakeyD: ...reasons….**

**RichyBitchy: no no no bro we getcha**

**Chlo: Alright alright cool, it's a plan**

**RichyBitchy: SURE ENIUGH IS**

***

**This is a direct message between _yourself_ and _YellowMellow_.**

**YellowMellow: Jeremy?**

**Would you like to accept this message?**

**me: Hey, Michael!**

**YellowMellow: i take this as you're going to stop avoiding us?**   
**YellowMellow: and me?**

**me: I need to talk to you**   
**me: Can we talk after roller skating?**

**YellowMellow: Please**   
**YellowMellow: I really need to talk to you**   
**YellowMellow: Also please don't avoid me anymore**   
**YellowMellow: I really can't take it, Jeremy**

**me: I'm so sorry, Michael**   
**me: You know I love you dude**

**YellowMellow: Yeah, yeah**   
**YellowMellow: I love you too**   
**YellowMellow: I'm assuming you need a ride?**

**me: :)**

**YellowMellow: ighdgejsns fiNe**

**me: :D**


	6. Colorless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun trip roller skating and Sims 3! What's not to love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thsi is angsty yikes  
> Warning: Canon typical Squip abuse  
> Anyway,,,,

Jeremy never knew silence could be this loud before he gets in the passenger seat of Michael's car later that day.

Michael smiles at him and Jeremy smiles back, but his heart is racing and his leg is bouncing already by the time he sits down. He glances over at Michael out of the corner of his eye and notices how tired he looks. He almost looks as bad as Jeremy does, which is really saying something.

Michael starts driving and Jeremy's fidgeting with his fingers, keeping his eyes down. The silence is so thick it's almost painful, but he doesn't know how to break it.

He almost says something about the weather when Michael breaks it first (thank God).

“You remember what I told you when we had that argument at the end of April, right?” Michael asks and Jeremy shakes his head. He hears Michael sigh. “I told you that we're still best friends even though we fought.”

Jeremy awkwardly looks over to Michael, who is focusing on the road.

“We are still best friends now. Just because we're soulmates and you lied to me for over a month doesn't change that. Yeah, I was mad and upset, but I'm getting over it.” Michael's knuckles go white from where they're clutching the wheel and Jeremy focused on that. “We are best friends even though you avoided the whole group for a week and suddenly hopped back in as if nothing happened. You forget things like that way too easily and then you're quiet like this. You don't have to be nervous around me.”

Jeremy says nothing, still biting at the inside of his cheek. Michael lets out a short laugh, a smile curling his lips and Jeremy's eyes latch onto that next.

“Well, actually, I guess you do have _something_ to be nervous about, but we'll talk about your _crushy-wushy_ later,” Michael teases and Jeremy's face goes red. He punches Michael's arm and Michael laughs harder. “Ouchie.”

“Shut up,” Jeremy whines, covering his face with his hands. He peeks at Michael through his fingers. “... You aren't mad at me about that?”

“What? No. Why would I be?”

“Well, I mean, it is a little weird, I mean… friends don't usually have crushes on each other. It’s kind of in the title ‘friend’.”

Michael doesn't respond. His knuckles are going white from tightening on the wheel again and Jeremy wants to reach out and cover his hand with his own to get him to relax. He fights his instincts and forces out his words.

“So you _are_ mad.” He cringes at the voice crack.

“I'm. Not mad.” Michael sighs and pushes up his glasses. He turns to Jeremy with a small smile on his face, and it doesn't look fake. “We're gonna talk about this after skating, okay? Not on our way to skating in my car.”

“... Okay,” Jeremy agrees, sitting up straight and dropping his hands in his lap. He looks around the car, quietly looking for something to talk about. He notices a chain hanging from the mirror with a circle locket at the end. “So… how long have you had this locket?”

Michael gives him a flat look. “You got me it for my birthday. _This year._ ”

“... Oh.”

“And here we have an Awkward Jeremy in his wild habitat. Watch closely as he scrambles for conver-”

“Shut the hell up!”

Michael over dramatically gasps. “You speak of hell in my good Christian vehicle?!”

Jeremy busts out laughing despite his nervousness and red face. Michael joins in soon enough, and by the time Michael's pulling into the parking lot, they're calming down.

“See, dude? Literally, nothing changed; we can still goof off like morons like we always have.” Michael turns to him with a wicked grin on his face once he parks the car. “Now I just know I can draw a dick on my face and it'll show up on yours.”

“Please don't.”

Michael reaches out and touches Jeremy's cheek. He leans in a little closer and squints. He's awfully quiet and Jeremy's sure his face is bright red by that point and he wonders if what he thinks is happening is going to happen.

The change in mood is actually quite abrupt, from funny to intimate in seconds. Thinking about it, Jeremy doesn't really want his first kiss with Michael to be in the parking lot of a broken down skating rink, but honestly, he doesn't mind as long as he-

“I think a dark blue dick will compliment your skin tone.” Michael pulls away completely and exits the car. “C'mon, the others are probably waiting for us.”

Jeremy's face is blank. Well, blank and red. He slowly leaves the car and follows Michael inside, behind him.

“What's that look for?” Michael asks, glancing back at him with a look of genuine concern and Jeremy presses his lips in a straight line.

“I'm disowning you.”

“What? No! Not again!”

Jeremy catches up with him and Michael wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“How could you want to disown me?”

“Many, _many_ valid reasons.”

“You wound me, Jeremiah.”

“I got salt to rub in it if you want."

“ _Wow._ ”

***

“Listen okay,” Rich starts, kneeling on his seat. “If you want to eat some cheap gummy bears in a movie, you gotta shove ‘em down your pants.”

“Buy movie theater gummy bears,” Jenna argues and Rich shakes his head.

“I refuse to give money to a theater playing The Emoji Movie.”

“Rich, what movie did you go to see, recently?” Christine asks sweetly, sounding genuinely curious. Rich grins.

“The Emoji Movie.”

“What the fuck,” Jake responds flatly, giving Rich a look.

“It's for the memes, babe! Bro? Babe-bro?” Rich looks concerned. “What are we, Jake?”

“Babe-bro.”

“Cool.” Michael snorts and glances up from his phone.

“You both are such romantics,” he comments and Rich leans closer to him.

“Is that or is that not the relationship you have with our group’s dumbass?”

Michael glances over at the rink where Jeremy, Chloe, and Brooke are skating. He searches for Jeremy until he finds him clinging to the wall for dear life and Brooke standing in front of him laughing and clapping. Chloe skates by them both and Jeremy flips her off. Michael smiles fondly before looking back to Rich.

“I can’t hear you, I’m not wearing my glasses, sorry,” Michael responds, pushing up said glasses.

“... I’m going to run you over with my skates, Mell.”

“Can your short legs even catch up to me?”

Jake and Christine stifle laughs and Rich can barely keep a smile off his own face. He shoves Michael’s arm before sitting back down (more like kneeling down) and talking to Jake. Michael stands up and stretches his arms before putting his phone in his pocket and skating onto the rink and catches up with Jeremy and Brooke. He slows himself by dragging a hand on the wall and skillfully covers his almost fall on his face by crossing his arms and skating to the front of Jeremy.

“Hows operation ‘teach Jeremy to skate’ going, Brooke?” he asks, smiling at Jeremy, whose face is red. From exertion or embarrassment, Michael isn’t sure.

“He seems more focused on cursing out Chloe each time she skates by, so… not so well,” she answers, covering her mouth when she laughs. Speaking of the devil, Chloe skates by and Jeremy yells after her.

“She keeps making fun of me! I have a right!” Jeremy defends and Brooke crosses her arms.

“She has a right too! Maybe you’d be better at skating if you hadn’t been avoiding us!”

“In what way does that have to do with anything?” Jeremy straightens up and moves a wobbly leg forward. Brooke easily glides back and Michael moves back by pushing along the wall.

“I don’t know!”  
Jeremy scowls at her and Brooke just smiles. “Now come on, you’re almost at the turn. You can get off the rink and rest then.”

“Be glad you don’t have Brooke as a mom, Jer,” Michael says in a mock whisper. “She’d make one scary soccer mom.”

“Damn straight.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes but smiles and continues on. They chat idly for a while, mostly Brooke and Michael as Jeremy continues, slowly becoming more confident. Jeremy barely makes the turn and Michael makes a big deal of applauding, which causes Jeremy to roll his eyes again and grin at Michael before looking back down at his feet, and Michael smiles fondly, feeling his face redden a bit. Brooke eventually moves to skate with Chloe, and Michael continues with Jeremy.

The reach one of the exit points and they begin to exit when Jeremy goes ramrod straight suddenly. Michael turns back to him to make a joke, only to see him standing frozen, eyes wide and staring at the floor. Michael skates up to him worriedly, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him slightly. His face is paler than usual when he looks up and meets Michael’s eyes, and Michael feels fear pierce his heart.

“Bathroom,” Jeremy chokes out, nodding in the direction of the bathrooms and Michael doesn’t hesitate a second before helping Jeremy to the bathroom, somehow steadier on his skates now with fear weighing down on him.

***

Jeremy really wishes he had a toothbrush. The mints that Michael just happened to have were helping, but a toothbrush would really be the best option.

(Strawberry artificial flavoring plus vomit. Delicious.)

He’s sitting on the cold floor of a disgusting bathroom, his feet cold through his socks and rolling one of his skates back and forth on the concrete to distract himself. The blinking light bulb and the brightly colored walls do nothing to lift his spirits. His Squip stands beside Michael, talking trash and less glitchy. He wishes he had a toothbrush and Mountain Dew Red.

Ugh. What a combination.

“Do you… do you want to talk about it?” Michael asks, and Jeremy looks up at him. His eyes and wide behind his glasses and he’s worrying his lip between his teeth. It occurs to Jeremy then how worried he is. He doesn’t really deserve it, the amount of caring that Michael has for him.

“Too many nachos and plastic cheese,” he says, stomach still cramping. It’s actually a half-truth; he had two orders of nachos and then went right out to the rink. The other half is the Squip suddenly appearing and cramping his stomach, somehow more powerful than when he last saw them that day. God, he needs more Red.

“I’ve seen you down three bottles of Root beer once and you were fine. Is there… something else too?” Michael kneels down in front of him and lifts Jeremy’s chin softly. “Please don’t lie.”

Jeremy covers his mouth. “Dude, I’d suggest moving back. Serious case of throw-up breath here.”

Michael furrows his eyebrows and scoots back. Jeremy nods.

“Squip shit. Cramped my stomach like hell and… said some things.”

“What things?”

“Uh…” Does Jeremy really want to tell him? He guesses he kind of has to. It’s a part of this whole not lying thing. “Well, they said that you guys just tolerate me ‘cause I suck. Also that you secretly hate me-”

“Jeremy, how do you kick the ass of something that you can’t see?”

“Um-”

“Hey! Squip fucker! Go eat a shoe, ugly!”

Jeremy’s torn between embarrassment and laughter. He chooses laughter. “Did you just… call them… ugly?”

Michael nods, proud, and Jeremy lets out a few laugh before it develops more. Michael joins him in the laughter and the Squip shuts up in favor of scowling in disgust at Michael, which only makes Jeremy laugh harder. Jeremy eventually calms down and sees Michael staring at him with a grin.

“What?”

“Uh… nothing. Just… didn’t expect to have this conversation on the floor of a skating rink after you puked your guts out.”

“That really paints a picture.” Jeremy grimaces and Michael shrugs, grin stuck on his face.

“Hey, it’s a story to tell,” he says, looking away and at the ceiling for a few moments. Jeremy looks up again and he frowns at all the stains. Michael clears his throat and Jeremy looks back at him. “Don’t believe the things they say, alright? I love you, okay? Everyone in this group loves you. You’ve seen Rich around people he doesn’t like, he’s blunt as hell. He’d tell you if he didn’t like you.”

Jeremy feels a lot better, showing that as a smile curved his lips. “Plus, Christine has pretty killer glares.”

“Exactly.” Michael stands up and wipes non-existent dirt off his legs. He offers a hand to Jeremy, and Jeremy takes it, pulling him up. “Let’s get back out there, okay?”

“Okay.” Jeremy’s about to walk out when Michael wraps his arms around him and hugs him tightly, Jeremy hugging back after a second, smiling and talking softly. “Hugging someone who has a crush on you is a sure fire way to send mixed signals.”

“Maybe I want to send mixed signals.” Michael smiles at him and skates out the bathroom. Jeremy stays rooted to his spot and stares at the door.

_… That was flirting, right?_

“Yes, you absolute moron, that was flirting,” his Squip says, glitching through the door and Jeremy mutters under his breath before following him outside.

***

Here’s the thing:

Michael’s incredibly in love with Jeremy. He’s just super good at hiding it.

Holding back your friend’s bangs as he throws-up for seemingly no reason is upsetting to both people involved. It makes Michael worried and fearful, and it makes him guilty for not planning ahead and bringing Mountain Dew Red.

He knows that he shouldn’t feel responsible for this, and he knows that he’s blaming himself too much, but he’s so used to it at this point that it doesn’t really affect him.

Moving onto happier topics now!

Jeremy likes him back. It took a web of lies to realize that, but… he realized it, so here they are, in an awkward limbo between friendship and relationship.

It’s the next Saturday after the skating plans, the week filled with a whole lot of… nothing.  
  
Michael talked to Noah between classes, Jeremy and Michael lingered around the outside of the school just talking, smiling, and blushing, and Michael finished a group project with Jake.

Nothing. _Blah._

Jeremy’s over his house now, and they’re in the basement. Jeremy’s playing a game and Michael’s pretty sure it’s Sims 3, but he’s not paying attention. He’s laying on his bed and doing nothing on his phone while Jeremy plays on his laptop on a bean bag that he dragged by the bed.

Michael drops his phone on his chest by accident and stares at his hand as if it offended him before he remembers something.

“Why did we never talk last Saturday?”

“I dunno,” Jeremy casually answers and Michael hears rapid clicking. “Dammit, mini me set the house on fire again.”

“Ironic.” Michael presses his nails into his palm and gulps down air. “Want to talk now?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, well, I’ll start.” Michael gives himself a mini pep talk before he forces out his next words. “Well, I like you too. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

“ _Um,_ ” Jeremy near shouts before calmly putting down the computer and turning towards Michael with a confused face so fast that Michael thinks he gave himself whiplash. “ _What._ ”

“When you told me you like me, that was probably the happiest I had been in a while.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re being serious?!”

“As a heart attack.”

“This- This is not how I imagined this talk going,” Jeremy admits, face blood red and eyes wide.

“... What did you think was going to happen?”

“I was going to apologize again for everything and try harder to forget my feelings and tell you why I was avoiding you guys.”

“Well, 1, _please don’t_ try harder to forget your feelings, and 2, you can always tell me why you why you were avoiding us.”

“... Okay.”

***

_**Monday** _

Jeremy sees Michael as he steps into the school. In fact, he begins to walk over, but it’s almost like he’s held back by an invisible force.

He looks down and sees glitchy glowing arms wrapped around his waist and holding him back.

“You seriously want to just go over there after what you told him on Saturday? Michael doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“What? How could you possibly-”

“I’m a supercomputer, Jeremy. I’m less oblivious than you. I can tell these things.”

And like an idiot, Jeremy fell for it.

_**Tuesday** _

“Yes, Jeremy, because walking over and talking to Rich and Jake is a smart idea.”

“I didn’t do anything to them!”

“Yet. You’ll run your mouth and end up boring or disappointing them. Maybe both. Stay sitting if you know what’s good for you.”

_**Wednesday** _

“Chloe and Jenna tried to talk to me today and I completely ignored them! I’m such an asshole…”

“That you are, Jeremy.”

_**Thursday** _

“... Can’t I at least talk to Christine?”

“Yes, go ahead. Then she can be even more disappointed in you and remind you that you’re an idiot.”

“Christine wouldn’t do that.”

“Remember that fact that you broke Michael’s heart.”

“...”

_**Friday** _

“Brooke.”

“No.” They flick Jeremy on the forehead. “Seriously, going to your ex for comfort? Idiotic.”

_**Saturday, 3:30 PM** _

“Why are you so hellbent on ruining my life again?” Jeremy asks, closing out of the group chat and glaring at his Squip. “How the hell are you even active right now?”

“I am a part of you. All humans know that soulmates are a very large part of humans, physically and mentally. You even just thinking about them gives me power, so here I am.” His Squip looks at their nails in boredom. “Believe me, I do wish I could just deactivate permanently, but sadly, I am stuck with a loser like you until death.”

“Quit it. Stop the insults.”

“I am telling the truth.”

Jeremy levels them with an angry glare, and they don’t even flinch.

“Come on, admit it, Jeremy,” they start, their tone completely changed. “You want me back for good. You can have that; I believe your father has regular Mountain Dew downstairs!”

“Fuck no.”

“Then why have you been listening to me? Today is the only day all week you drank Red, which means you didn’t think to shut me off at any other time.”

They’re right there. “I… I don’t know.”

“You and I could actually take over the school this time. This time, instead of having Christine follow your every word, I’ll sync with the Squip Michael will have and-”

“Shut up!” Jeremy responds, covering his ears as if it will help. “I’m not going to cheat in life as if it’s a fucking game of Monopoly.”

“But it could-”

“No.” There’s a car horn outside and Jeremy stands up. “Never again.”

“I don’t understand what caused this abrupt change in attitude. You were pretty insistent on avoiding them not too long ago.”

“I guess I realized that listening to an advanced cyber bully was just going to hurt me horribly in the end,” Jeremy answers and shrugs, downing the rest of the bottle and watching the Squip blink out of existence.

***

Michael blinks before reaching over and wiping a tear from Jeremy’s cheek. Jeremy looks at him with confused eyes.

“You’re crying,” Michael explains and Jeremy wipes his own eyes, seemingly surprised to find tears.

“Oh. Sorry,” he apologizes and rubs furiously at his eyes.

“You don’t believe that bullshit, right?”

Jeremy slowly shakes his head. “I know they were just… telling me so that I’d follow their instructions.”

“But I’m asking about you. You don’t believe it… right?”

“Sometimes. It’s stupid, I know. You just… you know that I struggle with self-esteem stuff.” Jeremy runs a hand down his face and groans. “Oh God, I sound like a thirteen-year-old.”

“That’s okay.”

Jeremy looks at him through his fingers and Michael smiles softly.

“Do you want to just cuddle and go to sleep or something. I know that can’t like, magically fix your problems, but it can make you forget for a little bit, you know?”

Jeremy goes red and looks away. “... Can I sit in your lap and play Sims?”

Michael opens his legs and pats the space in between. Jeremy smiles and gets settled in, putting the laptop in his lap so that Michael can see as well.

It doesn’t fix anything. They still have a weird not really relationship, but at least they’re both being honest now. Jeremy still has deeply rooted issues that Michael can’t fix, and the same goes for Michael. They’re still injured, obviously, but it helps to just forget about it at the moment and just live.

“Look, I made a mini you, too. His current lifetime goal is to reach the top of the business career.”

“... Do you even know me, Jer?”

“Yes, I do! I don’t know what’s wrong with mini you. Mini Rich is currently a surgeon.”

“That sounds safe.”

“Exactly. I’d trust him with my life.”

“That, my dear Jeremy, is something we do not have in common.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block has been kicking my ass lately, so I apologize  
> htis probably sucks but like   
> hhhhhhhhh  
> thanks for reading!


	7. Purple Galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An analyzation, mostly. A conclusion to the roller coaster of soulmates, and sign the page with glittery ink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short heck  
> I liked where it ended though so yeah
> 
> (Shout out to Bo Burnham, Dodie Clark, and MikelWJ for getting me through this.)

Michael’s having a side conversation with Christine when his slushy is yanked out of his hand and someone sits down with a clatter next to him. His head whips around to see a ruffled looking Jeremy sipping from his straw and he smiles slightly.

“You know, you could’ve caught a deadly disease by drinking from my straw,” Michael teases and Jeremy gives him a flat look.

“Dude,” Jeremy says, voice monotone and face blank. “I literally made out with you yesterday.”

“Exactly! Who knows what you have now, I mean-”

“By the way, I’m divorcing you,” Jeremy cuts in, taking another sip from the straw. Michael goes to say something when Brooke cuts him off.

“What did he do?”

“This asshole right here decided to draw a dark blue dick on his cheek when I fell asleep, then washed it off his own before I woke up so I only had it.” Jeremy slams down the slushy when Michael bursts into laughter at the memory of the weekend. “No, no, do _not_ laugh at my suffering! I had a full blown conversation with my _father_ while there was a penis on my face this morning!”

Jake walks over to the table and leans down a bit, staring at Jeremy. “Jer, buddy, we can hear you yelling about dicks from across the cafeteria.”

Jeremy’s face goes about as red as the slushy and he lifts it to cover his face. “Ugh.”

Jake laughs and walks back over to Rich, who’s excitedly talking to someone and making very wide gestures with his arms.

“You look like my hoodie,” Michael comments when some of the laughing dies down. Jeremy glares at him out of the corner of his eye. He holds the gaze for a few seconds before Jeremy straightens up and furrows his eyebrows.

“It's June, why are you still wearing that? You're gonna have a heat stroke or something.”

Michael defensively wraps his arms around himself. “Can a guy enjoy his hoodie in peace?”

“Not when he's going to end up hurting himself in the process,” Jeremy points out and Michael huffs.

“Yeah, yeah, I'll take it off when I need to,” Michael says and Jeremy's face softens into a small smile.

“Cool. I'll wear it then!” He exclaims and Michael's face reddens a little. “Unless it like, smells like weed or basement, you know.”

“You… you ruined the entire moment.”

“Hey, I'm just pointing things out,” Jeremy defends, drinking some of Michael's slushy again. He chokes on the drink when someone slams down their hands down on the table top and sits down. Michael laughs while patting his back half heartedly, looking across the table and towards Noah’s excited face.

“Guess what, guess what,” he starts with wide eyes.

“What?” Christine asks with a smile. They had become closer after everything and their lead roles together.

“I'm going to an acting camp, right? And guess who's going to be there?”

“Your soulmate?”

“My freakin’ soulmate!” He's basically bouncing in his seat. “He put something about the camp on his Snapchat story and I snapped him like ‘Woah, Ben, you're going to that camp?’ and he was like ‘Yup’, so I'm going to surprise him!”

“Sounds awesome, dude,” Jeremy says and Noah grins.

“It really is, taller me! Also, make sure to invite me to you and Michael's wedding: if I can't be a best man, I want to be the flower girl.”

(The nickname “taller me” came after it was revealed that Jeremy was actually Michael's soulmate. Noah wasn't mad, and Jeremy knew he meant well, so he didn't get bothered by it.)

Noah leaves after that, going to his own table. Michael's face is still flushed, even more so after the comment and Jeremy groans, putting his head down on the table with his arms around it.

“Is today everyone's day to embarrass me?”

“It's National Embarrass Jeremy Day? Fuck, I left my good material at home,” Chloe says as she sits at the table, biting into a candy bar.

“Don't worry, I have material.” Jenna looks over at Jeremy and smirks. “Why didn't you think to clear your internet history before I came over?”

Jeremy's entire face is red when his head whips up and stares at her with wide eyes. “How did you even unlock my computer?!”

“Your password is michaelandjeremy1.”

“Shut up, I made it when I was like, eleven, and it stuck.”

“Oh, oh, when Jer and I were dating, he took me to the movies, tripped over his own feet and landed on the popcorn, getting it everywhere,” Christine adds and Michael starts laughing then, looking at Jeremy who looks like he's in pain.

“I hate this table,” he groans, burying his face in his arms again and Michael pats his head.

“It's okay, buddy. It's not like I told them about the time you gave yourself a hickey on your shoulder in eighth grade.” Michael stifles a laugh. “Oh... wait. Oops.”

“Ugh!”

***

“Does you dad like gummy worms or gummy bears?” Michael asks, holding two bags of candy and Jeremy looks up from where he is on the floor.

“Uh… is there a difference?” he asks and Michael looks down at him and gasps.

“That’s like asking if there’s a difference between Dodie Clark and Bob Marley.”

“... What?”

Michael rolls his eyes and drops one of the bags onto Jeremy’s head. “That means that yes, there is a big difference, doofus. I’m just gonna get both.”

“Woah, big spender,” Jeremy teases as he stands up, brushing the dirt off his knees. Michael gives him a look.

“It’s the dollar store. This is worth two dollars.” Michael wraps an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders and smiles. “Besides, I’ve got to impress the parents.”

“I’m pretty sure you impressed my dad when you saved six people from completely being mind controlled.”

“Eh.”

Michael moves on, going into the next aisle over as Jeremy hangs back for a bit, tugging on his bangs. He eventually walks over to Michael and taps his shoulder, grabbing his attention. Jeremy focuses on the ground when Michael’s wide eyes prove to be too much.

“Hey, so, um… we’re dating… right?”

Michael reaches over and lifts his chin up and kisses him sweetly. “What gave you that idea?”

“... T-that…”

“Well, then, you’d be correct. We’re dating. I just haven’t… outright said it before then.” Michael smiles then, his mouth curling up to one side and Jeremy lets out a shaky sigh of relief.

“Awesome.” Jeremy makes a quick decision and wraps Michael up in a hug. “Thank you.”

Michael shifts until he has one arm free and uses the other to hold the bags, rubbing Jeremy’s back. “For dating you?”

“And forgiving me. For being an asshole.”

“Oh. You’re welcome.” Jeremy releases Michael, who stumbles back a step. “I knew that wasn’t you, though, back then with the Squip stuff.”

“Well, with the, uh, catfishing, too.”

“Hey.” Michael shrugs and grins. “Finding out ‘Noah Bruno’ was you and not some forty-year-old weird dude was a good deal to me.”

Jeremy smiles and calms himself down silently, feeling suddenly emotional. He covers it by taking a few of the candy packages out of Michael’s arms and holding them instead. “Let’s hurry up and get home.”

***

Here’s the thing:

Michael’s a loner. He’s painfully socially awkward to the point that it’s nearly unheard of for him to make new friends, and his mom considered signing him up for a program in Elementary school. It was called “Super Friends” (SF for short), and it was for quiet kids to get paired up with other quiet kids so that they hopefully become friends.

That didn’t end up happening, because as his mom took him to school to sign him up for it in first grade, Michael saw his new friend Jeremy there with his parents as well and they ran up to each other, excitedly talking about something.

Their parents locked eyes and smiled at one another, taking their sons out for ice cream and leaving SF behind them.

Needless to say, Michael didn’t actively search out new friends. He worked better by himself, and although he knew he depended way too much on Jeremy, he still had him by his side.

(The Squip really fucked him up, even if he never experienced it. He spent hours, hours, pacing from wall to wall in his bedroom and listening to music on his own. He smoked a lot of weed whenever his mom left the house and just laid down on the cold floor, staring up at the ceiling and at the glow stars Jeremy and him had put up there.)

So when he was suddenly catapulted into a group made up of seven other people, seven other loud people with clashing personalities, he was quite shocked. Their group worked in a way that made no sense; Christine and Jenna became friends over their love for drama (albeit different types), Chloe and Jake had a love-hate relationship, and Rich immediately became close to Michael because “Bro, you’re gay, I’m bi, and I know for a _fact_ you have a crush on Jer, so let’s whine about our crushes, cool?”. It was… wild, to say the least.

It was _awesome._

Michael went from one friend to seven friends. Seven friends who all loved him for some reason.

He was doubtful for the longest time. He didn’t believe that this was actually happening. A majority of the people who would spend literal hours on the phone with him just talking if he so much as said “I’m sad” used to insult him without even a thought about how this is affecting him. So he doubted it.

They slowly chipped away at the cement walls he created around himself, Jeremy leading the way through. They reached him eventually and he stopped isolating himself so much, let himself just relax for once and believe that impossible things actually have a chance of happening.

For example:  
\- Jeremy’s his soulmate  
\- Rich and Jake picked him up when his car has a flat tire, saying, “Ugh, we’ve been through that type of shit before.”  
\- His dad left him alone for once, not getting on him about his flaws  
\- He made another three friends, making that a total of _ten_ friends. Ten-year-old Michael would be in tears of disbelief by this news.

(Noah introduced his soulmate to Michael, and the two of them bonded over their love for music. They were hung up on a musical then, and Ben introduced him to his sister and the three of them were in a group chat where they spent hours discussing music. It was great.)

So, here’s the thing:

Michael’s still a loner. He’s still socially awkward and he still has anxiety that leaves his nails short and his knees shaking.

But now, he has people behind him. People to catch him when he falls, people to give him love when he has run out of love for himself.

He has people that like him for him, people who wouldn’t try to change him.

On the last day of Junior year, he looks around him the table and feels emotional. There’s a lump in his throat as he lays his head on Jeremy’s shoulder, feeling Jeremy wrapping an arm around his waist.

Speaking from experience, and speaking through the perspective of Michael who sits shivering on the cracked tiles of a bathroom floor, he wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

***

Jeremy blindly reaches for a pen on his desk and comes back with glittery purple. He smiles through the tears.

**_Michael?_ **

The response is like lightning.

**_Jeremy! I’ve been texting you._ **

**_My phone’s dead._ **

**_What’s wrong? I can feel your sadness._ **

_**Squip dug up really harmful stuff. Sorry for bothering you with this, I just needed someone to talk to.** _

Michael draws a line through the first part of the second sentence.

_**What did that hoe say now?** _

Jeremy coughs out a few laughs despite everything.

_**Did you call my Squip a hoe?** _

_**Yessir.**_ There’s a pause. _**I love you.**_

Jeremy’s heart races a little and he smiles and sniffles. _**I love you too.**_

_**You believe me, right? That I love you? Nothing they say is true or can change my feelings.** _

_**I believe you.** _

_**Good. Btw, I’m loving the purple.** _

_**Oh, would you rather me used neon yellow?** _

_**That gives me an idea.** _

Jeremy wipes his tears with his other arm and continues writing.

_**So help me, if you draw another dick on my face, I’m getting revenge.** _

_**I’m gay.**_ Jeremy waits for him to continue but he doesn’t, so he continues.

_**Okay?** _

_**A little dick never scared me.** _

Jeremy bursts out laughing then, sniffling again, feeling his spirits lifted a lot.

_**I can’t believe you.** _

_**There we go! I can feel your happiness now!** _

Jeremy’s smile grows wider on his face.

_**Thank you.** _

_**Look, okay, I know I joke around a lot, that’s how I comfort people, but are you okay now? It’s summer, so I could drive over there if you need me to.** _

_**I’m okay, seriously. Thank you for being there for me.** _

_**I’ll always be here for you, you know?** _

_**Yeah.**_ Jeremy’s smile turns into a grin. _**I know.**_

***

“Okay, look,” Rich starts, looking around the group. “If you had to choose between being shot in the arm, or shot in the leg, which would you choose?”

“You know, when I chose truth, this is not the type of question I expected,” Jake said, and Rich shrugged. “But shot in my leg. I’m not fucking up my arms when I already got two messed up limbs.”

“Understandable.”

Michael sits down next to Jeremy in the circle and rolls a can of soda to Chloe and Brooke.

“Mike!”

“‘Mike’?”

“Mike!” Rich exclaims again. “Truth or dare?”

“What are we, twelve?”

“Mentally, yes,” Chloe says and Brooke nudges her.

“Uh… truth.”

“Y’all are weak!” Rich takes a few seconds to think about a question to ask when Christine speaks up.

“If Jeremy wasn’t your soulmate, who would you hope was?”

Rich complains in the background as Michael thinks, glancing over at Jeremy who’s smiling at him.

“Bob Marley.” Jenna accidentally inhales soda while laughing and starts coughing. Michael looks over at Jeremy, and he’s giving him a look like “I expected this”. Michael smiles back before looking at Christine. “I’m kidding. Honestly? I don’t really think I’d want a different soulmate. Like, yeah, they can be platonic and all, but I’m glad it ended up being like this.”

“What about the Noah thing?” Brooke adds on and Michael shrugs.

“If it had turned out that way, it was going to be a platonic relationship most likely. I had told ‘Noah’ about my crush on Jeremy, and ‘Noah’ told me about his crush.”

“Aw,” Chloe coos and Rich fake gags.

“I’d complain about the flirting if Jake wasn’t here. Hey, babe.”

“Hi, honey.”

Michael smiles and leans back on his hands as the game continues on. The questions get stupider and the dares get lamer as it continues, and Michael pins it on the fact that they’re running out of ideas. He knows it’s true when Jenna dares Jeremy to wear his shirt backward instead of the other more intense dares she had been dealing.

The game dies out eventually and they turn to video games, four of them playing and four watching and cheering. Michael wonders how his mom hadn’t kicked everyone out for the amount of noise they’re causing, but he’s glad she didn’t do so.

Thinking back on his revelation a bit ago, and thinking about the soft kiss Jeremy presses to his head when he thinks he isn’t paying attention, he grins.

Speaking from experience, and speaking through the perspective of Michael who tapes a ticket stub from the movie onto his wall full of photos, he wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

***

Here’s the thing:

Jeremy is insecure.

He claws at his own skin when he looks in the mirror for too long and wills for there to be some way that he could become shorter and hide easier in the crowd.

He stutters over his words when talking, whether it be easy as talking to Michael, or difficult as talking to a teacher, he’s going to stutter. His tongue seems to be thick in his mouth and he just can’t force the words out.

It sucks. He has a supercomputer to help point out his flaws until he can’t take it anymore and downs a bottle of soda and pulls at his own hair until he has a killer headache.

He isn’t confident, and he’s pretty sure that he couldn’t love himself if he tried.

That’s the thing, though.

Jeremy had seen so many things about how people will be unable to love you until you love yourself, and he broke down a little more with every word he read because he knew that he would never receive love if that was the case.

He means, look at him. He didn’t even trust something that the stars had set up for him because of what he saw. Who would love someone like that?

But… this just goes to show that he shouldn’t believe everything that he reads.

Chloe Valentine tosses a bag of Twizzlers over to him one day because, “I’m sorry that I can be a bitch sometimes, so just… um… I know you like these, so here.”

Brooke Lohst smiles at him and offers him half her umbrella in the rain because, “I know things are kind of awkward between us, but I don’t want you getting sick.”

Richard Goranski and Jake Dillinger approach him in the hall and hand him a small slip of paper because, “Dude, you totally have to come to my New Years Day party! Bring a date, if you want!”

Christine Canigula presses a kiss to his cheek after they break up with a small sad smile because, “I’m sorry we didn’t work out, but this doesn’t mean you can start awkwardly avoiding me. I’ll fight you if you try that, Jeremy!”

Jenna Roland unlocks her phone and goes into her gallery, leaning over so Jeremy can see the screen because, “I took a really cute picture of you and Michael if you want me to send it to you.”

His dad takes him clothes shopping because, “Oh, fine, I’ll buy more pants. I thought you’d like the Pac-man leggings, though.”

Lastly, Michael Mell pulls him into his lap and kisses him hard, pulling back to wipe his tears away with his sleeves because, “I love you, Jeremy.”

And Jeremy doesn’t feel so unsure anymore.

Yes, he still tries obscure tips from the internet for removing acne that leave his face bright red, but instead of being bullied for it, Chloe gives him actual tips that work out.

Yes, he still feels worried about his height, walking with a slouch most of the time, but when Jake notices it, he says, “Man, if it wouldn’t actually kill me, I’d wear heels to school every day.”  
So yes, he’s still insecure. Yes, he’s still anxious, and yes, he’s still scared of what people think.

But he knows he’s not alone.

He still doesn’t love himself. He doesn’t know if he ever will.

Loving himself isn’t necessary anymore, though. Sure, it’s the most favorable outcome, but it isn’t needed anymore.

He knows it isn’t needed because he has a whole lot of people who love him and overlook the “ugly” parts of him and just look at _him._

Jeremy’s loved.

He knows he is because when he’s goofing off with Michael about something, Michael stops to laugh out some words.

“God, I love you more than anything, Jeremy.”

And he knows he’s loved.

Insecurities, glitter pens, and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE END
> 
> Thanks for reading this much, making it to end wwoowza  
> Wowie two stories one summer I'm lowkey proud  
> Okay so like, the writers block thing is still veRY much here, so I'm feeling eh about this story about a whole, but I'm gonna let myself be proud because I still wrote a story, you know?
> 
> ANyway, this is the end of this one, and I wonder how many ways I can write about the same two fictional characters falling in love? We shall see........
> 
> THANK YOU EVERYONE ONCE AGAIN, I LOVE YOU GUYS, AND HAVE A GREAT END OF THE SUMMER!!!!!


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